Defining Moment

(album: The Parlay - 2013)

They want me to say it all
I've been waiting for the moment
Yeah

I ain't slept in months, got a lot that's on my mind
'Bout to take the ride of my life, a lot up on the line
Life got it's moments, some of them define you
Like losing the love of your life to try to find you
Numb to it now, can't feel a damn thing
Far from reality, closer to my damn dream
Far from family, closer to my damn team
More and more it feel like the same damn thing
And so I ride for my brothers 'til the wheels fall
I told 'em we'd be stacking paper 'til it's real tall
People whining 'bout the hands that I deal y'all
Go and get it on your own, I don't really feel y'all
This shit is cutthroat, I ain't never been the type
But if you carry dead weight, it's hard to get your money right
And so I'm on a diet, I've been cutting back
I was giving everything and getting nothing back and I'm through with it
I still remember sitting in the car
You would get emotional, I never felt so far removed
From the feeling of having to make it better
My mind is all in the future, I left my heart in a letter
I'm cold now, everything we had is old now
Least that's what I tell myself, it helps me on the road now
We used to talk about everything
Now I feel like when we talk again, someone will have you in wedding ring
It's like my best moves hurt the ones close to me
They be asking when the hell did money mean the most to me?
Since I got a taste and I left the comfort zone
Now it's either money or blowing up everything we've grown
This rap shit feels like everything I've ever known
Locked up in the studio, never picking up my phone
It's always some bullshit, I just need to be alone
I don't want no distraction, I been in my zone
Word is we getting love in the city
Funny I feel it's like all I wanted from the beginning
And now I'm too far away, figures though
It's always been motivation for me to get bigger though
Friends were ashamed of my little hobby until the women they wanted were digging my music
And now they all be thinking it's chronic
Pardon my trouble, was separating real from the fake
Everyone gassing me up, I just be needing a break
I just tell it like it is and they be feeling a way
They say I'm tripping, I say I'm finally feeling awake
Too much at stake, I ain't playing no games
People guessing the suspects, I ain't saying no names
It's family biz, you suckers don't know what family is
I promise I see it clear
Told the team we on the verge, guess that we'll see this year
My fear is I'll get everything I wanted and nothing I need