Technical Foul

(album: Eight Crazy Nights - 2002)

Look you got to understand it's just been me and Eleanor for 67 years
So she gets nervous around strangers
I wouldn't show that picture to any one, or they might try to take you 2 guys back to the laboratory
Uhhh...
Listen we got rules in this house, and you better follow them or you'll find yourself outta of here
Ya ya ya
This might be harder then I thought

If you're coming from street, with dirty shoes on your feet
That's a technical foul
If you switch the radio, to some modern music show
That's a technical foul
If you don't shut the door, after using the fridge-er-a-tor
That's a technical foul, A technical foul

If you touch the thermostat, (you'll get hit with a bat)
Cause that's a technical foul (You'll feel my wrath)
If your hair clogs the drain, (you'll know the meaning of pain)
Cause that's a technical foul (I'll show you no mercy)
Ohh... this is such bull shita
Hey... In this house we say bull spit
Or it's a technical foul, A technical foul

Let me get this straight, you expect me to change my entire life style in one night, because you guys are a couple of psychotic control freaks!

You got it bub
Or you can go rot in the gutter it's up to you Yankee Doodle!

Well I don't want to do that, but let me run a few questions by you so I don't screw up accidentally

If I don't spray Lysol, after moving a bowel
That's a technical foul
Okay!
If I decide to wash my ass with your monogrammed towel
That's a technical foul
We say Hieney
If I make fun of your crazy feeties
Or give sugar cookies to Miss Diabetes
That's not only technical foul...
But possibly a homicide...

Can I sleep past three?
If you do that you'll get a "T"?
Take a wiz in those flowers?
Ill say hit the showers
Use this horn as a bong
Adios Tommy Chong
Make some long distance calls
You'll get a kick in the balls! (OOPS )
Can I walk around with my morning erection?
If you want an automatic ejection
Cause that's a technical foul

BUT I'd LIKE TO SEE IT ANY WAY (JUST KIDDIN)

There are certain rules which apply in one's life
With your sister, friends or imaginary wife
(I can't believe I haven't killed myself)
Respect carries over with me on the court
(Here with Wigs Magee, and a furry elf)
Whether you choose diabetic or especially short
(She's neurotic and he's a troll)
I see she's strange in my royal carry; my imaginary wife is short and hairy
(They took my wig; I remember the look in their eyes)
(How did my life get stuck in this shit hole?)
(Why o why won't someone retrieve my wig wig wig)
(Guess I have to deal with your demands, but please don't touch me with your alien hands!)

I got no right to growl
The whistle she's on the prowl
Without my wig, I look like an owl Hoo Hoo
(O MY GOD!)
Don't laugh at her

OR IT'S A TECHNICAL FOUL
OR IT'S A TECHNICAL FOUL
OR IT'S A TECHNICAL FOUL