You Gotta Have A Hat

(album: #1 With A Bullet - 1989)

Well the music business has been good to me
I've had gold records and been on TV
But mostly I've just tried to make folks laugh so far.

Yeah.

But I decided it'd be nice to walk in a room
And instead I'd get to hear the women all swoon
So I decided I'd become a country hunk record star

Well, I went right out and bought a Cadillac
Wire wheels all around, one on the back
I bought a flat top guitar, learned a few chords from Chet (Chet)

And then I went right out and bought some skin-tight jeans
I thought I'd thought of everything
But my manager said, "Hold it son, you ain't ready yet!"

He said

You gotta have a hat
A great big hat
Yeah if you're gonna be a country hunk a hat's where it's at
He said, "I ain't kiddin'! This ain't just hokum!
Look at Strait, Black, Brooks, Van Sheltner, Yokum!"
If you wanna be a country hunk
You gotta have a hat

Well, my manager's right smack on the beam
I put on this hat and women started to scream
They was tearing at my clothes and throwing me their motel keys!

He he he!

I couldn't wear this hat out anywhere
'Cause everywhere I'd go screaming women were there
Had to hire myself 'round the clock security police!

Keep away boys! Don't hurt 'em though, they can't help theyselves!

But in the interest of those women's sanity
I put aside my pride and vanity
And decided I'd hang my had up on the shelf

But let me tell all you young hunk singers of the world
If you decide to give country music a whirl
Here's the show business truth I can testify to myself

You gotta have a hat
A great big hat
Oh, it can be black or white so don't worry about that!
Just stand there underneath it with a great big grin
And watch the women all swoon and the money roll in
If you wanna be a country hunk
Oh you gotta have a hat

[Woman:]
Could I just touch it?