Dear God

(album: Demos (Do Not Share), Vol. I - 2020)

Hello
Uh, it's Ren
I don't really know how to start this letter... Fuck it

Is this life really what it seems
'Cause lately I've been in this place between awake and dreams
I know I only reach out to you when I'm feeling blue
I promise I'm not using you, I'm just confused
I've got some questions I would like some answers to
Like is there meaning to this state of short existence
My existential thoughts sure hope there are, 'cause I'm resistant
To thinking that there won't be something better in the distance
And God, is there and afterlife where pain is non-existent
If you're up there God, do you sit upon the throne
Or are you a humble soul wearing sandals and tattered clothes?
Do you mingle with the people like an equal then on Sundays
Just kick back and chill and put your feet up?
Did I really choose this life that I'm living now?
Will my sins be forgiven if I speak them out?
I won't lie to you, God, if there is a heaven
I really hope I get there 'cause for real it sounds like heaven

Reading past the lines
I just let go
Searching for prophets, my faith it is paper thin
So many questions in my mind
They replay like an echo
They never stop, my Messiah is porcelain

Dear God
Why do people kill each other in your name?
Is it really what you want or have we lost our way?
'Cause it seems like religion can cause division or people living in prisons of moral values they're given
What is right and what is wrong?
Am I a sinner if I don't comply with everything that Moses said or is that dumb?
And why do people disguise hatred in your name?
Homophobia, a history of violent wars and causing pain
High priests in their towers stacking riches
Women burnt at the stakes called witches
In the name of God, Allah, Zeus, Jesus
People claiming lives justified by your allegiance
I think it's more complex than good versus evil
I think that there's both darkness and light inside people
Through different eyes a man called a terrorist
Could be a freedom-fighter if he's fighting for the side you're with

Reading past the lines
I just let go
Searching for prophets, my faith it is paper thin
So many questions in my mind
They replay like an echo
They never stop, my Messiah is porcelain

So is it ignorant to claim that we know what you want
And if I fast for the Sabbath is that what you want?
Or is tradition just superstition
Religion, a human vision just crafted out of people's ambition?
Listen
I knew a girl that lost her baby before it was born
What's the purpose of that, God, what is it for?
Why did my best friends die before I hit twenty-five?
Is it 'cause there's something better in the afterlife
God
I've been feeling suicidal lately
Mental health is worsening, feels like it might break me
If you're watching, you know that I've been strong
But, God, how much longer do I have to hold on?
Please, just give me some solace
So that I know you've got my back
Please, just give me some relief
God, is that too much to ask?