My Interview

(album: The Life And Times Of Jonny Valiant - 2013)

"Just let me uh.. call and get this interview over with.
(Exhale) I hate doing this shit

-Hello

Hey, what up. This is Rittz
I was calling to do the interview with you today?

-Oh, Hey Rittz
Let me just get my recorder ready
And I'll be ready when you are.

OK... cool, shit I'm ready let's do it!

-So tell me... who is Rittz?

That's a stupid question
Bitch, Rittz is me
A white boy from Gwinnett county Georgia
Been doing for some years never gave up
Now I get to live my dream

-And... when did you start to rap?

I think I started to rap back in '92
I got to rhyme with Snoop
Or some dude that I rode the bus with
Tried to get the boys for me when I ride to school and I was hooked

-So... how'd your family act?

About the fact I rap, they used to hate it
Said I was acting black, "Pull your pants up, boy."
Mom and dad would snap
I had a black lumber jack with the hat to match

-Did you make good grades?

Hell no I been flunked
Seventh grade eighth grade ninth grade and up
I got expelled for selling weed and when I came back
Everyday they would check my book bag for drugs

-Where did you get the name Rittz from?

That's another dumb question
Are you a dumb bitch?
It's obvious that I got named after the cracker
Because I'm white, please next subject

-You got an attitude homie?

I apologize
Plus I'm a little drunk and I'm always tired
I done answered these questions a thousand times
And people still don't know my name and now, my God
It's like

[Hook:]
Everybody's asking all this shit about me
Wondering where I came from
Questioning my surroundings
And the same motherfuckers that damned me
Be the haters that used to doubt me
And I'm trying to answer their questions but my memory's just too cloudy for
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A fucked up in...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A pissed off in...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A representing in...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, who you wit?)

-Was it hard to come up in the Atlanta scene?

Yeah, it kinda sucked
If you knew the type of shit they play inside the club
Then the strippers don't dance and the radio don't play
And besides they're showing no signs of love

-you're from Gwinnett County?

God damn right
There's a ton of us to represent so hard
Don't let the word "suburb" throw you off
A lot of people moved here and got their head blown off

-I heard you rap about drugs a lot,

You probably would too if you grew up on a shit i seen
16 I was sniffing things, the shit changed when the '96 Olympics came

-What you mean?

Everybody getting mama get their GC
Lotta home invasions on robbers week
Kept running from the GCPD
'Cause the crime rate kept increasing weekly

-So does that affect what you rhyme about?

Fuck yes so many nights been spending in my mama's house
Geeked up and all scared that I might be thinking I'm die trying to ride it out

-But to change the subject, what's up with your hair

God damn why do people care
Got grown men coming under me when it's something like
Please say you didn't cut it is it there
And I swear it's like

[Hook:]
Everybody's asking all this shit about me
Wondering where I came from
Questioning my surroundings
And the same motherfuckers that damned me
Bitter haters that used to down me
And I'm trying to answer their questions but my memory's just too cloudy for
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A fucked up in...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A bitch stop for...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A representing in...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, who you wit?)

-So Yelawolf discovered you, right?

He said if he ever got the chance he would put me on
And when he blew he did, I owe him for everything
So if anybody fuck with my dude they dead

-So is it still American?

Of course it is
Whatup shawty fat whatup stroll
Whatup new port, whatup wim
I'm about to kill shit
Can't nobody touch us dog

-What do you say to those who say you rap too fast?

Don't listen then if you don't like the way that I rhyme
It cost you nothing pay me no mind
Old soap both fuck a little linen a lot

-You getting money now, right?

I came off tour with like 20 grand
I put a down payment on a new car
Paid my manager's off
Now I got like 6 til I go out of town again

-How's your girlfriend dealing with your new success

When I'm gone on the road all she does is cry
And accuse me of cheating and is sleeping with chicks
When I'm usually just chilling getting drunk and high

-Last question, do you think the world is ready for a fat long hair piece of shit like you?

What? Fuck yeah bitch indeed I do, and I guess I gotta make you a believer too
It's like

[Hook:]
Everybody's asking all this shit about me
Wondering where I came from
Questioning my surroundings
And the same motherfuckers that damned me
Bitter haters that used to down me
And I'm trying to answer their questions but my memory's just too cloudy for
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A fucked up in...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A bitch stop for...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, where you from? G, A have you sitting for...)
My interview...
(What's your name? Rittz bitch, who you wit?)

-P.S. Don't you ever call me a bitch, simple ass motherfucker, red headed bastard. Get the fuck out of here.
Make this your first and last interview with me. Cracker.