Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 14)

(album: Trapped In The Closet: Chapters 13–22 - 2007)

Time goes by (it's 30 minutes later)
Time goes by (45 minutes later)
Time goes by (and now one hour later)

A car pulls up to a restaurant
The door opens and someone gets out
First thing you see is some heels and a dress
Black shades on scarf around her head and mouth
Who could it be? Why are they here?
Up the stairs they're going
Through the door, down the aisle
Like she's walking in slow motion

Checking out the place
And she walks looking real cool
Peeping out through her glasses
Before she sits in the booth
She goes in her purse; pull a cigarette out
Puts it in her mouth; he lights it
Then she blows smoke, pause for a minute
And says, "What the hell happened?!"

"First of all, woman, keep your voice down
I ain't trying to get loud up in here
Second of all, how was I 'posed to know
That your husband was a fucking queer?"
"Shh!" The waitress walks by
She says, "I'll be with y'all in a minute."

"Now, we made a deal. The plan was for me
To come home with you. Girl, I did my part
So don't you go asking me what the hell happened
When I didn't wanna do this shit from the start."
And then she said, "Yeah, right
You didn't wanna do this shit, but yo ass got paid."
And then she said, "Sylvester--" I said, "Hold up, bitch
Are you crazy? Don't be saying my name."

She said, "Whatever. How come you didn't tell me
You was married to Gwen?"
"First of all, between the fake wigs and fake names
How the hell am I supposed to know that Gwen is yo friend, bitch?"
"Shh! Here comes the waitress again."

"Sorry I kept y'all waiting
Child, this place is busy
It's always crowded about this time
Can I start y'all off with something to drink?"
I said, "I'll just have a coffee
With two sugars, light on the cream."
She said, "Vodka, straight up
Hell. Shit, I need a drink."

Then the waitress said, "Girl, I heard that
I'll be right back with your drinks."
And then she walks away ; I look back at her
And says, "She looked familiar to me."
Then she says, "What?" I say
"Nothing. It's just a thought
Anyway, girl, I thought the plan was for me
To be in that house with you and get caught?"

She says, "It was." I said, "What ha--?"
She said, "I changed my mind."
I blew smoke, then I put my cigar out
Said, "I'm out this motherfucker, 'cause you wasting my time."
She says, "Wait, don't go."
"Well, then, god-damn it, talk to me."
She says, "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"Cathy?"
"Yes?"
"Try me." She blows her nose and says

"Well, it all started one night
When I was sitting in the living room
And sounds like I could hear somebody
In the bedroom, moaning and groaning
And I knew it wasn't me
So my curiosity
Led me to believe
That he was cheating on me."

"Well, how come you just didn't ask him?
Give him the benefit of the doubt?"
"Because a woman knows
A woman just knows when some shit is foul."
And then I said, "Calm down
Here comes the waitress."
"Mmm, like I said, it's busy around this time
But thank y'all for being patient."
Said, "Can I get y'all anything else?"
I said, "No, that'll be all."
Then Cathy says, "Sylvester--" He says, "Hold on,"
'Cause he's getting another phone call

It's Twan sayin, "Everything a'ight?"
Then Sylvester says, "We working it out."
Then Twan says, "Well, call me if you need me, dawg
You know I'm holding you down." And I said,"No doubt."
I hang up, then Cathy says
"Well, let me get back to telling you what went wrong
Where was I? Oh, yeah
The day I heard him arguing on the phone."

Now the story goes on and on
And she telling him everything that happened
While Twan's outside in the car
Radio on, bopping his head, just rapping
Sylvester said, "Girl, are you saying he was having sex
With another man on the phone?"
She says, "Yes." I say, "I can't talk about this."
She says, "Why?" I say, "'Cause this shit is getting uncomfortable."

Now, back to Twan; he turns the radio down
'Cause he gets a call
He says, "Yeah, what up?" And a voice says,"Yo, G
I got that information on Tina." He says, "Talk to me, dawg."
"Well, the word out on the street is the bitch has stopped hoeing
Doing head outta her mama's basement and got a job."
"Ha-ha is right. The day that bitch stop hoeing
Is the day they stop selling dops. ("Heh-heh.")
You feel me, Joe?" "Word."
"Where the bitch work at, a candy store?"
"Naw, the job that she got's supposed to be legit
I heard your girl all found some ol' waitress shit."
"Yeah? Waitress, where?" "Hold on, I'm waiting on my people to hit me
Roxanne and T own the place." "You shitting me
Where this place at?" He says, "Hold up
I'm getting a phone call."

Now, meanwhile, Sylvester's asking Cathy
"Well, why you still love him?"
Then Cathy says, "When I saw Chuck
I just couldn't lose him to him."
And then the waitress comes again
But this time she brings the bill
Slides her a $50, says, "Keep the change."
She says, "Damn, thanks. Shit, y'all, keep it real."

And meanwhile, outside in the car
Twan's getting impatient; his homie comes back to the phone
Twan says, "Do I look like En Vogue?
He says, "Why?" Says, "Nigga, 'cause the way you got me holding on."
"I got you, dawg. I got where the bitch work, live, information and all."
"Yeah. Nigga, I'm listening." "Well, nigga, first of all
You gotta keep me down, 'cause I went through a lot of crazy shit to find her." "Yeah, whatever, I got you."
"Moved in with some nigga in the Jeffrey Manor
It's 'round the corner, it's a place called Shay-Shay's Diner."
"Nigga, you forget I just did three years
I need the exact address to where this place is."
"My bad, you right, kid. 9501, that's right off Hallstid."
Pause it right there
Now shoot back into the restaurant real quick

Sylvester looks up at the waitress and says
"Excuse me, but it seems like I know you."
And at the same time, Twan's in the car, going
"Man, this address sounds familiar."
Meanwhile, in the restaurant, the waitress blows a bubble and says
"Where you know me from?"
Twan's homie gives him the name of the place again
He looks up at the sign and says, "What the fuck?"
And meanwhile, back in the restaurant
Cathy's nudging me under the table, going, "Sylvester."
And Sylvester looks at the name tag on her shirt
And noticed that shit says, "Tina"

Then, the waitress starts backing up
With this confused look on her face
While Twan's outside on the phone, telling his homie
"Man, I'm right outside of the fucking place!"
Then Sylvester says, "Hold up
I just wanna talk to you for a minute."
Then she starts screaming Roxanne's name real loud (Roxanne! Roxanne!)
This bitch comes running from the back with a skillet
Then Tina breaks a beer bottle on the table
And says, "Nigga, I will cut you with this glass!"
Cathy walks by me, going out the door, saying
"Not trying to get loud in here, my ass!"
Tina starts warming around Sylvester, saying
"We take Tae Bo classes!"
Then Twan runs up in the place and says
"I will kill both of y'all knucklehead asses!"
(Asses! Asses! Asses. Asses)