I Should Just Go To Bed

(album: 5 Songs For Healing - 2023)

Guess you're really gone
I've been so fixated
On everything I lost
In just one conversation
Where you said life was long
But mine isn't worth wasting
Your mind isn't wrong
Doesn't mean I'm not
Wishing I could change it

It's always 10 P.M. laying in my head
Turning all my thoughts to potential texts
That's the way I get after 2 A.M., and it's 2 A.M.

So, how you doing?
You seem fine and I've been going through it
Selfishly, I hope your heart is ruined
'Cause somehow, you still love me in my head
I hate that I imagine
When you get this message, your reaction
It's late again, well, that's what always happens
I know I'd regret everything I'd send
I should just go to bed

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
I should just go to bed
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh

I don't wanna care (Hm-mm)
So, I'm optimistic (Hm-mm)
Am I not self-aware (Hm-mm)
For hoping that you'll miss this?
And you say there's a future us
But how can I be certain of what will become?
With all your words and actions never sinking up
It's hard to know it's me you're really thinking of

'Cause when it's 10 P.M. laying in my head
I can hear your voice, words you never said
That's the way I get after 2 A.M., here I go again

So, how you doing?
You seem fine and I've been going through it
Selfishly, I hope your heart is ruined
'Cause somehow, you still love me in my head
I hate that I imagine
When you get this message, your reaction
It's late again, well, that's what always happens
I know I'd regret everything I'd send
I should just go to bed

Ooh-ooh (I should just go)
Ooh-ooh (I should just go)
Ooh (I should just go)
I should just go to bed
Ooh-ooh (I should just go)
Ooh-ooh (I should just go)
Ooh (I should just go)
I should just go to bed

So, why's it hard to be the bigger person? I'm just hurting
I keep tryna justify the way you left and it's not working
Don't deserve it, swear to God you're hurting me on purpose
And maybe it's my fault 'cause, at your worst, I see the best in you
Letting you go piece by piece until there's nothing left to lose
It's working, but sometimes I just wanna say in person

How you doing?
You seem fine and I've been going through it
Selfishly, I hope your heart is ruined
Really thought we'd make it in the end
I should just go to bed