You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

(album: Ho Ho Ho - 1997)

You're a mean one, Mr Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel
Mr. Grinch!
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch!
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul
Mr. Grinch!
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch!
You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile
Mr. Grinch!
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk
Mr. Grinch!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote
"Stink, stank, stunk!"

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato
Splotched with moldy, purple spots
Mr. Grinch!
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss
Mr. Grinch!
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!