solo

(album: she had a bf - 2016)

If I could turn back time
Maybe I could make you mine
How could I have been so blind?
Maybe I could make you mine
If I could turn back time

Maybe I could say hi
Maybe I'd feel relieved
Maybe that would give me closure
Maybe that's too naïve
Or maybe I could walk by
Wear my heart on my sleeve
And maybe we would lock eyes
And it'd be hard to believe
But maybe we would both laugh
And I could ask how she was
And wonder if she thinks about
The times we used to be us
And maybe I could ask why
Or maybe I would say please
But maybe she's with a guy
And maybe I should just leave
Or maybe I could stop time
Cause the world to just freeze
Make corners of this room dissolve
With every breath that I breathe
Until it's just me and her
And we would fall from our feet
And flitter down into the pitch black
With no floor underneath
And we could fall through December
And maybe shatter through June
And we could crash land in April
And wake up back in our room
And she'd be there in my arms
Right before she was gone
And while I lay there, I'd retrace to myself
Where I went wrong

If I could turn back time
Maybe I could make you mine
How could I have been so blind?
Maybe I could make you mine
If I could hit rewind
Maybe I could make you mine
Maybe things would turn out fine
Maybe I could make you mine

Maybe she's just as bored
What if she's as depressed?
Maybe I should drink more
Maybe I should think less
How did things end so badly?
How did things even end?
I don't remember exactly, don't ask me
On our way back from Atlanta
We were holed up in a taxi
She was asleep in the backseat
I was just drinking a smoothie
Jamba Juice, mango and flax seed
She woke up groggy and tapped me
Headphones in, bumping to Max B
Looked at her, paused it on track three
She sighed and looked at me angry
I asked her, "What?"
And she snapped back, "Nothing, it's fine"
I said, "No, what's on your mind?"
She snapped back, "Nothing, it's fine!"
I said, "Well fuck it! I'm trying!"
She sniffled, "Fuck you!" while crying
Still have no fucking idea
The what, or the who, or the why
But we just stopped talking
And that was the end
No text or call or coffee
No "Let's just be friends"
We sat there silently through
North Carolina and West Virginia
And hours and hours passed
And the anxious quiet continued
'Til I fell asleep
And woke up to the driver alone
He told me he drove past her neighborhood
And dropped her off home
And that was it, and now we're here
Two dozen feet from each other
It feels like years since I've seen her
Two washed-up used-to-be-lovers
We used to kiss under covers
And wrestle in blankets
And nestle each other
But I don't think I've got the courage to muster

Maybe I could say hi
Maybe I'd feel relieved
Maybe that would give me closure
Maybe that's too naïve
(If I could turn back time)
Or maybe I could walk by
Wear my heart on my sleeve
(Maybe I could make you mine)
And maybe we would lock eyes
And it'd be hard to believe
(How could I have been so blind?)
But maybe we would both laugh
And I could ask how she was
(Maybe I could make you mine)
And wonder if she thinks about
The times we used to be us
(If I could hit rewind)
And maybe I could ask why
Or maybe I would say please
(Maybe I could make you mine)
But maybe she's with a guy
And maybe I should just leave
Or maybe I could stop time
Cause the world to just freeze
(Maybe I could make you mine)
Make corners of this room dissolve
With every breath that I breathe
Until it's just me and her