Eight

(album: Atlas: Enneagram - 2019)

I remember the minute.
It was like a switch was flipped
I was just a kid who grew up strong enough
To pick this armor up
And suddenly it fit

God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago...
I was little, I was weak, perfectly naive
And I grew up too quick

Now you won't see all that I have to lose
And all I've lost in the fight to protect it
I won't let you in. I swore never again
I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected

I want to break these bones 'til they're better
I want to break them right and feel alive
You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong
My healing needed more than time

When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things
I see the familiar
I was little, I was weak, I was perfect too
Now I'm a broken mirror

But I can't let you see all that I have to lose
All I've lost in the fight to protect it
I can't let you in I swore never again
I can't afford to let myself be blindsided

I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart
And all I want is to trust you
Show me how to lay my sword down
For long enough to let you through

Here I am, pry me open
What do you want to know?
I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough
To hold the door shut
And bury my innocence
But here's a map, here's a shovel
Here's my achilles' heel

I'm all in, palms out, I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin
I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough to let you in

I'll shake the ground with all my might
I will pull my whole heart up to the surface
For the innocent, for the vulnerable
I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose
And I'll give all I have, I'll give my blood, I'll give my sweat
An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken
I'm shattered porcelain, glued back together again
Invincible like I've never been