Pirate's Life

(album: The Sweet Sound Of Smosh - 2013)

Everyone knows that Blackbeard's the best
There's nothing more to say
But I hear there's this new bloke around, by the name of Kenway
He's always hiding in his white hood with his girly hair and crap
But I'm still the baddest pirate around
'Cause I've got this treasure map

Yo ho, yo ho!
A pirate's life for me!
Yo ho, yo ho!
Murdering fools for free!
Yo ho, yo ho!
A pirate's life for me!
Yo ho, yo ho!
Murdering fools for free!

They call me Eddie Kenway, man
And I'm the scourge of the land and sea
Got flowing hair, some sharp-ass blades
And maybe a little scurvy
Don't got a stupid peg leg
Or a dumbass hook for a hand
But I'll shove my blowgun up your ass
If you mess with my pirate band

I'll grab my musket
Yeah!
And I bust it!
Yeah!
Got lovely hair, you can't touch it!
That's right!
I steal maps
Yeah!
Don't give craps
Yeah!
Got pretty girls sitting on my lap

'Cause I'm a pirate
Living my life all high on seven seas
I'm a pirate
Getting bootie with the cuties 'cause I do what I please
Four guns I blast
Slashing throats as I pass
Kissing those sexy wenches
Because I'm a freaking pirate dude
And the rest of ya'll are bitches

Yo ho, yo ho!
A pirate's life for me!
Yo ho, yo ho!
Murdering fools for free!
Yo ho, yo ho!
A pirate's life for me!
Yo ho, yo ho!
Murdering fools for free!

Boarding your ship to pillage and kill
Don't even need it I just love to steal
All the ladies love me 'cause I'm a big pimp
Hope they don't smell me 'cause I stink like ship
Eating oranges to prevent scurvy
Dammit, now it's gonna hurt when I pee
You can never blame me for grabbing your chick
'Cause most my life's surrounded by dick

I grab my musket
Yeah!
And I bust it!
Yeah!
Got a badass beard, you can't touch it!
That's right!
I steal maps
Yeah!
Don't give craps
Yeah!
Got pretty girls and I'm sitting on their laps

'Cause I'm a pirate
Living my life all high on seven seas
I'm a pirate
Getting bootie with the cuties 'cause I do what I please
Four guns I blast
Slashing throats as I pass
Making out with sexy wenches
Because I'm a freaking pirate dude
And the rest of ya'll are bitches

Yo ho, yo ho!
A pirate's life for me!
Yo ho, yo ho!
Murdering fools for free!
Yo ho, yo ho!
A pirate's life for me!
Yo ho, yo ho!
Murdering fools for free!

Well I guess it's time for the two of us to brawl
Time to settle who's the baddest pirate once and for freaking all

I'll wake up
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Don't give a fuck
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Love to drink
'Cause I'm a pirate!
I stink
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Don't shower
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Make bitches cower
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Getting booty
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Taking doodies
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Eat rotten beef
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Lost all my teeth
'Cause I'm a pirate!
Far from home
'Cause I'm a pirate!
All alone!
'Cause I'm a pirate!

'Cause we're pirates
Living our life all high on seven seas
We're pirates
Getting bootie with the cuties 'cause we do what we please
Four guns we blast
Slashing throats as we pass
Kissing those sexy wenches
Because we're freaking pirates dude
And the rest of ya'll are bitches

Yo ho, yo ho!
A pirate's life for me!
Yo ho, yo ho!
Murdering fools for free!
Yo ho, yo ho!
A pirate's life for me!
Yo ho, yo ho!
Murdering fools for free!