Bellyache

(album: Schmaltz - 2018)

I woke up far from home with a pattern on my face
Another night on the couch, TV on, I'm faced away
Another night in the AC
Trying to find some room to breathe
In the arms of a stranger
But it is what it is and all this shit is worthless
Take the five to my name and I'll buy something frivolous
Like the love I need
Not some pills, a reunion show
Or a face to swipe off my screen

Well, I woke up a year older in a city in the south
Wander room to room like a ghost that can't get out
But I need to get outside
End the war inside my mind
Like a march to the ocean
If I stand in the land where my forefathers stood
Shooting guns at their brothers 'cause some prick said they should
Maybe I can feel at ease
At my eternal lack of peace
That this joke isn't funny
I think someone wants to kill me

'Cause I don't think I can fix this if I found god
And there's no drug in the world that can possibly wash this off
Can't even go down to the river and stick my fucking head in it
I'll watch the world spin I'll lay around in it I am a perfect fit

I've been dreaming
In languages I don't understand
I've got spirits watching over me
They refuse my filthy hands
I've been coming to terms with our life
And how we're all gonna die the same –
Forgotten in a year
By the ones we love on a Tuesday morning

'Cause I don't think I can fix this if I found god
And there's no drug in the world that can possibly wash this off
Can't even go down to the river and stick my fucking head in it
I'll die just how I lived: stealing from someone I found great
Showing up a year too late
Now, the water is gone
Now, the love is gone
Now, the future is gone
And I'll just lay here, but it's never gonna come
No, it's never gonna come

'Cause I don't think I can fix this if I found god
And there's no drug in the world that can possibly wash this off
Can't even go down to the river and stick my fucking head in it
I'll watch the world spin I'll lay around in it I'll be a perfect fit