Why Do I Do This To Myself?!

(album: We All Got Lost - 2018)

Why do I?!
Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I?!
Why do I do this to myself?
Why can't I?!
Give it up? Let it go?
Why can't I?!
Give it up? Four, three, two, one

I shouldn't do it, I do it, I will be ruined
I'm screwing myself, I'm clueless, I blew it, I shouldn't follow
My mind, 'cause it's racing and pacing
Devices I'm chasing, adjacent to desolation, we all know
I'm fucked, gambled thousands of bucks
Down on my luck, in the dirt, now I'm stuck
Hold up, give me my turn, to play with fire, get burned
Had this outcome before, I guess I didn't learn, no
I shouldn't smoke it, it's useless, but if I see it, I do it
A fucking loser, a doofus, I saw my future, it's stupid
Look vegetated and gruesome, it's conducive to bruises
A veggie plate 'cause it's fruitless, but here we go again
Spent a wonder to snag it and I just opened the baggy
Yo, this is gonna be magic, I get my grip then I grab it
I twist it, lick it and wrap it, I'm not addicted, it's habit
Flick the Bick and it's flashing
And then I get a call from daycare, my daughter's puking, need daddy
I'm paranoid and I shower, I'll be there in an hour
I hear the devil, he chortle, fuck, I hope I look normal
Feel like I fell through a portal, got in my chevy and sped
I think I need some meds, is my wife mad we met?
How my eyes? Are they red? How my future is? Dead?
Can't get out of my head, can I be you instead?
Lay awake in my bed, look in the mirror and said

Why do I?!
Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I?!
Why do I do this to myself?
Why can't I?!
Give it up? Let it go?
Why can't I?!
Give it up? Four, three, two, one

I can't let
No one but me
Down this road
Down this rabbit hole
I can't let
I can't bring you
I do
Do-doody-do