Luigi's Ballad

(album: Starbomb - 2013)

[Luigi Sexbang:]
Princess Peach, won't you listen to my speech
I don't have any stars of invincibility
But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me
I'm your Luigi

[Marioraptor:]
What up, bitch?! I got a 1UP, bitch!
What's inside that Question Block? It's my dick!
It's-a-me a-Mario I'm more Italian than pastrami
I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami
I saved you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky
Must I be a raccoon to get inside your Tanooki?
I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen
My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean
So suck it!

[Luigi:]
Mario, you always do this shit
I like a girl and then you ruin it
By yelling stuff about your dick
Until they go away

[Peach Bloom:]
Hey, Luigi, it's okay
That Mario's a bit risqué
Just tell me what you need to say
Please don't be afraid!

[Luigi:]
Oh, Princess!
It means so much for me to hear you say that.
The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that GOD DAMN IT

[Mario:]
I'm here to pleasure that ass!
I'd like to go first, Princess, but I always come last
And you say we'll get together but I'm jacking off alone
Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only Dry Bones!
I am tired of your run-around it's such a fucking hassle
I go through shit and then you're in another fucking castle
You gotta think about it? Well I don't believe the hype
You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smoking on my Warp Pipe!

[Peach:]
Oh Em Gee!
I can't decide on which of you should be the guy
To take me on your mustache ride that'll redefine my life

[Luigi + Peach:]
I'm ready to give love a shot
It's not about how many coins you've got
I just know I like you a lot

[Mario:]
Yo sluts! Check out my yacht!

[Luigi:]
Ugh!

[Luigi:]
Let me take you on a magic kart ride
[Mario:]
I'll bust all yo' balloons when I smack your backside
[Luigi:]
We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along
[Mario:]
I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong

[Mario:]
Come on, Peach! It's time to make your choice!
I'm the only plumber that can make your boobies rejoice
Green lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me
It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea (nis!)

[Mario:]
So! Who's it gonna be, Princess?

[Peach:]
I choose... Toad!

[Mario + Luigi:]
TOAD?!

[Peach:]
Well his whole body's shaped like a dick.

[Mario:]
Ohhhh, mhm, yeah, definitely
[Luigi:]
Oh, yeah, okay, mushrooms look like dicks, yeah-huh