It's Been Awhile

(album: Seeing Red - 2020)

And it's been awhile since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile since I first saw you
And it's been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that are rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile since I could say that I wasn't addicted and
It's been awhile since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been awhile since I've gone and fucked things up, just like I always do
And it's been awhile but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
Have gone and fucked things up again, yeah

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

And it's been awhile since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile since I said "I'm sorry"
And it's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile but I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be, I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile since I said "I'm sorry"