The Same Things Happening To Me All The Time, Even In My Dreams

(album: I Will Be My Own Hell Because There Is a Devil Inside My Body - 2012)

I have dreamt about what it's like to die
And I saw myself becoming shadows again
Just like I did when I was a kid
I saw my bones crack open and all the things I've been hiding from you spill out
All the secrets that I never thought I'd tell anyone about
I am warm and I am bored and I am drifting through this place
It's no better or worse than anything else that's ever happened to me
But I wish that I'd never met a lot of the people that I've met
Not because I don't like them but because I only let them down
And when you disappoint everyone all the time it's hard not to want to die
Constantly I feel this weird and shameful feeling
Like I'm being watched by a thousand glowing, vengeful eyes
Behind one way mirrors in public bathrooms and in metro cars
And everywhere I go I know I'm not welcome