Teenage Wasteland

(album: Stop Us If You've Heard This One Before - 2012)

[Imrov Intro:]
[Ed:] No, we're gonna do a bunch of new stuff tonight. And, uh... But I'm gonna have to warn you, most of it's in German. So, I hope you've all attended your German classes in high school, because you're required to take, I think, it's at least two languages, aren't you?
[Steve:] In high school?
[Ed:] Yeah.
[Steve:] Yes.
[Ed:] Yes, two languages, and typing. That's all you need. And you get a high school diploma.
[Steve:] Is woodshop a language?
[Ed:] No, woodshop falls under typing.
[Steve: (Laughing)] Oh, okay. This next song is called "99 Luftballons".
[Ed:] Ah 1, 2, a 1, 2, 3...

[Verse 1:]
I first met Millie in art class in high school,
With her short brown bob, she was better than Bateman's best.
I never thought I'd ever see a miracle,
And who'd have thought it would be in an arcade?

[Chorus:]
Well she moved like an angel,
And she spoke like a memory,
And she smoked like a chimney,
And she completed Dragon's Lair on just one quarter,
On just one quarter,
On just one quarter,
On just one quarter.

[Verse 2:]
I called her up, but she wasn't home,
I knew she was downstairs, but her dad didn't like me.
I never thought I'd see a miracle,
I called her back in 10 minutes and disguised my voice.

[Chorus:]
I spoke like an actor,
And I moved like a burglar,
Then I lied like a carpet,
And I did a phony survey on her whole family,
On her whole family,
On her whole family,
On her whole family.

[Bridge:]
Nobody at school knew what I was trying to do,
But right after art class, I made history,
'Cause when you love someone,
Yeah, and you don't even know no one,

[Instrumental]

[Chorus/Outro:]
She moved like an angel,
She spoke like a memory,
Then she moved to Alberta,
I'm gonna visit her at grandma's,
Well, maybe next week,
Yeah, maybe next week,
Okay, maybe not next week,
Maybe never,
Maybe it doesn't matter,
Maybe it never did,
It didn't matter at all.