Can't Feel My Face Parody

[The Weeknd:]
Well, you know it's really challenging for me to make much fun
Of a catchy song with a good beat that's so very well sung.
But I'm sure I'll find some things to ridicule before it's done.
This I know, yeah. This I know.
Like why is an "E" missing in my name?
And why is this camera so close?
And now that we're almost to the chorus, there's something that everyone wants to know oh oh oh!
Why the hell can I not feel my face? Is it cocaine? Too much cocaine?
Or did I go to the dentist today to numb the pain with Novocaine?
Well, I don't know what the chorus means and frankly I don't care.
Cuz I'm more concerned with what the hell is up with my weird hair.
It looks like some broccoli and a palm tree had an affair.

[Audience member:]
Time to prune... your hair dude.

[The Weeknd:]
People say my singing sound just like Michael Jackson crossed with Bruno.

[Audience Member:]
But why can't you dance as good as those guys?

[The Weeknd:]
And why can't I feel my face? I don't know oh oh oh!
Maybe it's cos sniffing tons of glue... Causes numbness.
Facial numbness. Oh, tumors in your brain can cause it too. I should visit... A neurologist.

[Creepy Lighter Guy:]
I'm gonna through this lighter at you!

[The Weeknd:]
Help, I'm burnin! My skin's burnin!

[Audience Member:]
That dude who can't spell has got hot moves!

[The Weeknd:]
I'm getting scorched!

[Audience Member:]
It's Human Torch! Dope!

[The Weeknd:]
I can't feel my face now it is true.

[Audience Member:]
He sure can dance.

[The Weeknd:]
Send a fireman!

[Fireman:]
Did someone call me?

[The Weeknd:]
Yes, help me, dude! Turn on that hose!

[Fireman:]
What a great show! Yeah!

[The Weeknd:]
Well, at least the chorus makes sense now.