A Story

(album: Freak Magnet - 2000)

I got a story
A sad sad story
About a girl
Who met a boy
About her mother
Whose vision saw her
Daughter to marry
Another boy
(Nooo nooo nooo...)
They made a plan
To get away
To run away
And though it be hard
To make that day
Freely to live
Without the mother
They'd send a postcard
(Nooo nooo nooo...)
Out on the interstate
That's where they made their mistake
That's where they met their fate
Out on the interstate
They met a monster
The monster of the interstate
Who will not hesitate
Who eats teenagers
Like a shark eats little fishes
Who eats bad kids disobeying parents wishes
An interloper against the elopers
A troll at the pay toll
They stopped at the toll booth
And reached for a quarter
The monster filled the whole booth
He gave them no quarter
"Don't eat me"
Chirped the girl
Clutching to her purse
"Don't eat me"
Croaked the boy
"Or eat her first
I'll turn right around
And take her back to her mother's
We repent of being out of wedlock lovers"
"You should have thought of that before"
And a scaly horny hand
Ripped the car lock door
And the boy
Tried to drive
But oh boy
He was eaten alive
And the girl
Tried to scream
But she was swirled
In the giant's vanilla ice cream
And the boy was yummy
And the girl was yummy
As they slid down the throat
To the monster's yellow tummy
He said:
"Hmm hmm good
Didn't do like they should
Hmm hmm good
Didn't do like they should"
The mother sold the
Rights to the story
It was so scary
This gory story
They made a movie
A horror movie
The mother made a million
And the producers made a billion
"And that other sweet boy
That my daughter has shunned
Now I'm his wife and he's my husband"
The moral of this story
Is clear for all to see
And if clearly all can see
Then it isn't clear to me