1983

(album: Napalm - 2012)

I think we all have these moments in our life, where we say
Or do things
And we're so sorry for them, really
It's not the way we would have wanted it to come out
Umm, let's face it, this is real life
And this is the thought that was captured from me
That words only share a small portion of the vision that they give witness too

I had to write this in blood, because the ink wouldn't stick
I sold five to six million but, yo, that ain't really shit
It was supposed to be different, we were supposed to ride out
But too much shot his girl, then shot himself in the mouth
Then the steady game form but very soon fell apart
'Cause when you just doing all, with no the loyalty in your heart
It's like catching Alzheimers on all these niggers forgetting where they're coming from
And they're slowing down, wait a minute, what we're running from?
This what we're supposed to do, here's where we're supposed to be
I hated MTV for trying to play me like a mockery
But that don't bother me, I just fulfill my fucking contract
Small price to pay just to take a piece of mind back
My back, backfire, assassination of my character
Just to make some millions off of America
My younger sister, Erika, just adopted a child
My older brother served fifteen, he made it out
Even though my father loved me, I ain't seen him in a while
Had to fight my baby momma, bitch, give me my nigga now
'Cause he's running out of time and I need him to understand
The way a superior man had build a brand
Niggas talk about my taxes, had to pay to Uncle Sam
I'm surviving cause the mind's eyes quicker than the hand

Heartbreak, disappointment, my mother died when I was nine
I just wanted to join her
Nah Mr. Joiner, you get to California, I got something for you to do, it was like I was anointed
Resurrected, found my purpose
I remember meeting Dre, being nervous when I would kick my verses
I was virtually worthless, my whole life was a circus
I was sleeping with serpents and I thought it is worth it
Got a call from Paul, told me shit isn't working
Exchange words, told me tell me that shit in person
He probably told Em, and by the way did he said it unapologetic twisted made about him
I see Slim and he said he didn't recognize me
Was it that or did he let another man define me
I don't know, but now I gotta get this all behind me
Follow my calling when I used to follow niggers blindly

I wish I had a better relationship with my uncles
Blood relatives I could turn to when I'm feeling trouble
And talk about my struggles
My uncle John Nail, he only put me on the phone with different females
And this is such a such, nephew, tell 'er, what's up?
Ain't even ask about Tremayne and Gatlyn, growing up
Fuck, I drink it all and I smash the bottle
Self medicated numb, but I'mma feel it tomorrow
It feel like pain and sorrow was like a second skin
But now the pain is gone I got my second win
Only the strong live long, you better settle in
I'm fighting for ever, I will never let the devil win
1983, that's when my journey begins
I searched every world for strength, only to find it within
This for me and my kin, still dying to live
Living life to the fullest 'till I see you again