My Reality

(album: I Ain't Even Started - 2011)

So Yungen, when I heard this track I knew you poured our your heart on it. So all the people respect that you're sharing this right now. And giving them a piece of your life from the left side of your chest
Real shit, we ain't watering nutting down

I just turned nineteen, thinking about all the shit that I've been through
All the shit I got out of, all the shit I got into
Everything that I rushed, everything that I think through
The fact I'm still here, I think it's sutting to drink to
Cah there's man I've grown with that ain't made it
They're gone for good and it burns me to face it
No one really understands blud, I hate it
Is this the real world or are we living in the Matrix?
Or is the Matrix the real world?
I'm still stressing, tryna find myself a real girl
Sometimes I kick and think 'Does she even exist?'
And if I choose to fall in love, that's only me at risk
Fake man will say I'm soft, real man will relate
Only man that's got their mind right can really debate
Not everyone knows why we out for this cake
We ain't tryna raise our yout's in no council estate

I had to pull that one up

I just turned nineteen, thinking about all the shit that I've been through
All the shit I got out of, all the shit I got into
Everything that I rushed, everything that I think through
The fact I'm still here, I think it's sutting to drink to
Cah there's man I've grown with that ain't made it
They're gone for good and it burns me to face it
No one really understands blud, I hate it
Is this the real world or are we living in the Matrix?
Or is the Matrix the real world?
I'm still stressing, tryna find myself a real girl
Sometimes I kick and think 'Does she even exist?'
And if I choose to fall in love, that's only me at risk
Fake man will say I'm soft, real man will relate
Only man that's got their mind right can really debate
Not everyone knows why we out for this cake
We ain't tryna raise our yout's in no council estate
Like, no one really wants to lose their life
I grew up on my mum not really moving right
I'm used to it, it'll probably shock the [?]
Every minute claiming she's committing suicide
And that shit breaks my heart cah I love her to bits
After all we've been through, she's still my mother and shit
So every time that she cries, I try to hug her with grip
You only get one ma, there ain't another that fits
Thinking about my little sis, nine years this year
She got diagnosed with Crohn's, it still brings back tears
I nearly saw her pass the away, the worst of my fears
I thank the lord every day man that's she's still here
I remember when me and Gem thought we lost our mum
She took me in straight away, I can't forget what she done
When my other big sis was in a better position
It's like she wanted to see me in prison
Sometimes I think they're forgetting I'm here
Chasing my dream, I need to keep stepping, I'm near
Made mistakes in the past, I'm regretting them clear
There's a difference between crying and shedding a tear
I shed a tear for the good times, cry for the bad times
I've had some happy days, but more made times
I've seen my nigga Stiff get birded
Secretly I dropped a tear when I got the verdict
Thinking about Big Nose, the day he came off his bike
All the mandem was there, that was one fucked up night
I remember looking at his bro and he had no fear
There ain't no shit you wanna see in no young buck's eyes
I just wanna go back and do well in school
Go and link Big Ree man and go kick ball
'Cause if I didn't fall off, maybe I would've made it
I just wish I could change it

Wooh, that was emotional man, that's pain. R.I.P Rio, R.I.P Reece