My Confession

(album: The Good Fight - 2013)

I'm so tired of the fake thing,
decorate a ceiling got em eyein in amazement.
All kind of paintings we hang from the wall tryin
to keep they minds off what we hide in the basement.
We spit about the sin that we overcame.
It's easy to talk about your past crime.
What about the one you still on today?
Last week you just said it was the last time.
The one you been hidin ya fight with,
cause in all of your fans eyes you are righteous.
It's easy to expose the other side,
but what's done in the dark will come to the light Biz.
Alright, let's do it. They been dyin to find somethin on me I'll give it to em.
I'm bout to tell the truth so let's get to the chorus, let's talk about Biz's addiction to porn
He knows who you are when nobody's around, yeah.
They know you try to hide.
The truth one day will be found.
This is my confession.
I said this is my confession
Started round seven lookin through my pops mags.
Then I saw it on the screen and it got bad.
Tried masterbating but I ain't know how.
I was like nine, I was a throw child.
At thirteen it worked, then it began.
All I wanted to do was fill that feeling again
so that night I did it again and again and again,
never knowing that I couldn't control when it would end.
I am only a child, this a grown man's fight.
Who'd a figured I would dip into this grown man's life?
Should have known then Satan would be fightin big.
It went from a wet dream to a nightmare
He knows who you are when nobody's around, yeah.
They know you try to hide.
The truth one day will be found.
This is my confession.
I said this is my confession
Moms had a boyfriend, we would stay the night.
And I would watch movies late at night.
But one night when I tried to put the tape on,
and press play that tape isn't what came on.
It showed way more than I'm used to seeing.
So I watched it every time that we went to see him.
And later on he became step-pops, anytime I needed I could see it on his desktop.
And when I was only fifteen, he started givin me his magazines.
If I was left alone I would do it all day til they got back home.
Read it five times a day was the average.
Even if I tried I couldn't break the habit.
I had this addiction, but I never fought it.
I thought it was somethin I would be able to quit whenever I wanted
He knows who you are when nobody's around, yeah.
They know you try to hide.
The truth one day will be found.
This is my confession.
I said this is my confession
I was hooked at a young age, I never really knew until I got saved.
It's easy to say that you not addicted.
I guess you never know until you try to quit it.
For a minute had me feelin like I'm not a Christian.
On my knees, hopin and prayin that God'll listen.
Please take this from me Father, you gotta fix it.
I keep trying but I keep falling, I'm tired of sinning.
You healed my other wounds, why you leave this one?
It's so embarassing, I can't beat this one.
I go like a week without falling, but when I fall I fall the hardest.
Two or three weeks, then I'm back on it.
Three months, four months was the longest.
But now I'm back here, where do I go?
Cause of right now, just you and my wife know
I'm so tired, but I'ma fight though,
and get ready for the stones that they might throw. [x2]
Said this is my confession. I said this is my confession