Sea Of Thieves

(album: Generation Gaming XIV - 2018)

Ahoy, mateys
Lovely day

Ahhhhhhhh
There's nothing like a life at sea
Breathe in the briny breeze, you'll never feel quite as free
A perfect day for paddling, so come and dive with me
I wear a pair of peg legs to hide the fact I'm five foot three
There lurks a sight to see, beneath the gleaming surface
That just happens to be here like it was on purpose
But a pirate's only duty's answering the call of booty
Through all the beauty, mutiny, the loot and the appalling cruelty
You won't have a long life expectancy
I mean respectfully, what do you expect at sea?
When you're stepping in a grapeshot's trajectory
It's balls meet balls, what a mess of a vasectomy

On Devil's Ridge beneath the sands
The gold lies hidden from thieving hands
Seek the cursed boar shrine where there is no sky
It lies in wait for a light held high

Where's the treasure hiding on this desert island?
Guess we'd better find them
But these skeleton fellows are intending to pile in
Well if they want to pile in, we'll leave them in a pile
In a heap, we reamed them into pieces like a hymen
Jesus, even I can't believe the things I'm rhyming
Blame my rhyming dictionary, because it isn't very
Stop to admire the view and have a bit of fruit
It's not just ammo that the cannon here can shoot

On Devil's Ridge beneath the sands
The gold lies hidden from thieving hands
Seek the cursed boar shrine where there is no sky
It lies in wait for a light held high

Now that the time's arrived to head into the cave
I'm suddenly not feeling so particularly brave
So it's lucky, lucky for me that I'm with my mates
I'll just stay here at the back to guarantee we can escape
Yeah, I'll just look at these pictures, you go ahead
Umm, you alright in there, bro? Oh, he's dead
Hold your lantern high, behold the rancid sight
If I were you I'd take a moment to ensure your pants are dry

On Devil's Ridge beneath the sands
The gold lies hidden from thieving hands
Seek the cursed boar shrine where there is no sky
It lies in wait for a light held high

I'm sure your chest ought to be somewhere northwest
More or less over there, below the floor, I guess
Aww yes! Let's get it, leg it and do one
Before the skeleton's get a sniff and tear us a new one
Do you want to be one like sailors in the past have
No? Then run away, no one's invented satnavs
Left, right, up, down, it doesn't matter, what's the diff'?
You've got no option, so just fricking bomb it off the cliff
Plummet into rock pools, I'm not gonna stop, fools
I've got jewels and my crew's got tools
What you gonna do, you're too skinny to be starting trouble, fellows
Back to the ship in a jiffy, quick, we're parked on double yellows
I swear, every time we check the map, we get attacked
And when I work out who keeps doing that, they'll get a slap
I've only just redecorated in my cabin
Grabbing some ammo, then get straight into the cannon
Hit the deck of a ship that's wrecked, showing disrespect
Whip out my pistol, blast the captain into bits of flesh
There's nothing like the stench of singed gunpowder, it's the best
Ah, so this is why they call this middle deck the mess
You should switch the decor up in here, I've got a bit depressed
I'd better ditch and jet to collect the biggest cheque
Hoist the main sails, man the tiller, wheel or rudder
We're feeling good and
Wait, come back! Oh bugger

On Devil's Ridge beneath the sands
The gold lies hidden from thieving hands
Seek the cursed boar shrine where there is no sky
It lies in wait for a light held high

Captain?
Ai-ain't those lyrics copyrighted from the game or so'e'ing?
Well yes, they probably are
But what do you expect?
We're pirates!