Short Mort

(Hey shorty! Hey shorty!)

He isn't very big, he's small in size
He isn't very smart, but he sure is wise
He never gets in trouble 'cause he never gets caught
You can keep tall Paul I'll take short Mort!

Short Mort, short Mort
He's underneath the teacher's chair!
Short Mort, short Mort
I can't get that short sport out of my head!

He wear elevator shoes with a nine inch sole
He still looks like he's standing in a hole
He blew up the chem lab, just for kicks
This kid even makes Charlie Brown look sick!

Short Mort, short Mort
I'm waiting for the guy's next shocker!
Short Mort, short Mort
He won my heart when I found him in my locker!

The girls all love him, and I know why
Because he's so cute when he plays it cool and sly
He strolls into class, you should see the teachers' faces
When they see his pink shoes and his tan shoelaces

Short Mort, short Mort
The little league's pride and joy!
Short Mort, short Mort
He's a pint-sized all-American boy!

Short Mort
Mmm, short Mort
I love him, short Mort