The Ghost Of Bob Saget

(album: 4 - 2010)

Last night I was haunted by the ghost of Bob Saget
He said "You're more or less than just a faggot"
So I put on a dress and followed him to heaven
But first I gave him a blowjob outside the 7-Eleven

The ghost of Franz Kafka came to me in a dream
He said that things are usually what they seem
So I put on my uniform and followed him to heaven
But first he pierced my ears outside of 7-Eleven

The ghost of my old man said "I like that beard"
He said "I always wanted to have long hair"
I said "Oh fuck you fuck you fuck you"
But he didn't even care

The ghost who violated me, he thought he was funny
He took us all to Disney World
He tried to make us watch him stand in an alley
With no one there except for the ghost

The ghost of some asshole summoned me to the office
He said "How come you didn't go to the office?"
I said "I was afraid that they'd make me feel dumb"
They said "You're being dumb" and shot me in the head

Did you know that birds and other various creatures
Have a window of time right after their creation
Where they latch on to whatever they see as their mother
And presumably the object of their sexual frustration

The ghost of Bob Saget haunted me yesterday
He said "Back up man, 'cause we know you're gay"
So I threw him in a river in the USA
Wherever I go is so fucked anyway

Death came in bending over like he was sick
Promised I'd be really bad at sucking dick
I had a gun painted in my hand
And Death said "Hey, do you want to be in my band?"

Today I got a package and it was my mom
She's called back up twice, I knew that something was wrong
She was missing her ring so I took out the scoop
And looked for half an hour through her ashes too

Last night I was haunted by the ghost of myself
I said "You're probably going to kill yourself"
He said that "When you do don't bother leaving a note
'Cause everybody knows just where you're going"

The ghost that I hated which came to me last night
Said kid in heaven everything ain't so right
So I took off all my clothes and followed him to hell
But first he waited fifteen years outside of my jail cell