I Deserve This

(album: I Changed - 2020)

I'm feeling so many things inside
I deserve this
This money bring tears to my eye
I deserve this
If you knew what I've been through
You would understood what it took
All these stones that they throwing at me
When they should just pray, but it's still all good, I deserve this

I've been going through so much, I reversed it
Who knew that I would make it this far? I rehearsed this
And them diamonds don't mean shit to me
I just wear 'em all as a reminder
Nobody uplifting me
Fuck it, I'm a sole survivor
And I would trade it all, just to see my pops one more time
And to roll one with you 'cause I miss you so much
People see the fame
But the shame is it don't feel the same when it's all said and done
That pain been calling
I look in the mirror and I feel this scarring
Feel so unwanted
With myself, I'm warring

I'm feeling so many things inside
I deserve this
This money bring tears to my eye
I deserve this
If you knew what I've been through
You would understood what it took
All these stones that they throwing at me
When they should just pray, but it's still all good, I deserve this
I deserve this

I deserve the shine, so fuck what it cost
I deserve the lights, the life of a boss
Did this by myself, no one I could call
So once I get it all, ain't no [?] it up
I've been through mourning through losses and setbacks and trolling
People talk shit and they don't even know me
It weigh so much that I can't feel the moment
And all I lost all of my homies
And I would trade it all, just to see my pops one more time
And to roll one with you 'cause I miss you so much
I've been so close to the edge
That I want to be dead and I'm tempted to jump
People only see the outside
Don't know what it took
So before you look at my life and think it's all good

I'm feeling so many things inside
I deserve this
This money bring tears to my eyes
I deserve this
If you knew what I've been through
You would understood what it took
All these stones that they throwing at me
When they should just pray, but it's still all good, I deserve this
I deserve this
I deserve this