Holding On To A Gun

(album: While You Wait For J.A.W.S. - 2022)

Your memory is like holding on to a gun
I ain't heard your voice in so many months
If there's a Heaven, you would think they'd let you call your son
Life, death, and suffering, all in one (All in one, oh)
Your memory is like holding on to a gun (Holding a gun, oh)
I ain't heard your voice in so many months (So many months, oh)
If there's a Heaven, you would think they'd let you call your son (Calling your son, oh, oh, oh)

I ain't heard your voice in so many months
When you died, rolled your ashes up inside a blunt
If that's a sin, Lord forgive me for that one
I was tryna see you again, you'd never come
I don't know if you understand what you did to mom
She cried tears for a year straight, was holding on
I had so much to say to you, but I'd hold my tongue
Years later, I'm still trying hard to overcome
I'm afraid of the day that I gotta hold my son
Knowing you the example that I was molded from
Run away from this depression, I've been overrun
Shot yourself in the crib, it was a hole in one, nobody celebrated
I guess you couldn't handle you and mom being separated
Tried to quit the drugs, all it did was accelerate it
Police picked me up from school, I didn't understand
Saw the look on mom's face, it hit me like a van
Knew you was gone, at sunrise you was there in my home
By the time dawn came around, nothing was normal
Changed everything about me, why I'm stuck in this form
Where even on the sunny days, I'm so fearful of storms
They say when somebody dies that another is born
I'd trade everyone for you to come and see me perform
What's the use of all the money and the jewelry I've worn?
You died, but you never rose, all I got was the thorns

Your memory is like holding on to a gun (Holding a gun, oh)
I ain't heard your voice in so many months (So many months, oh)
If there's a Heaven, you would think they'd let you call your son (Calling your son, oh)
Life, death, and suffering, all in one (All in one, oh)
Your memory is like holding on to a gun (Holding a gun, oh)
I ain't heard your voice in so many months (So many months, oh)
If there's a Heaven, you would think they'd let you call your son (Calling your son, oh, oh, oh)
Life, death, and suffering, all in one