Bieber Interlude

(album: Sex Sells Stay Tooned - 2010)

Justin you seem like you're pretty mature
Seems like you have like, a lot of experience with the ladies, huh?
Uh, I don't know, I started like dating, when I was like 16
I'm not talking about dating, how far have you gone with a girl?
Uh, I don't remember I kissed a lot of girls
I'm not talking about kissing, bitch
You know what, now that I think about it
16 might be a little young too young to lose your virginity
It's not that young...
Shut up, don't interrupt me when I'm talking
So are you a virgin?
Um, undisclosed
Undisclosed?! Are you or aren't you
I guess, yeah
You guess?
So you want La Cocaina to show you a few things or what
Okay, sure
So that means you're ready for manhood
Yeah
And you sure you can handle this?
Yeah, yeah, I'm a beast
Alright lemme see what you working with!
What? That's like two inches
Two and a half, maybe
Well is it gonna get any bigger?
Um, not really, too much
Oh my God, I have tampons bigger than that
It has to change or get hard or something
It's already changed a little bit, it's not fully hard
But it's kinda going gradual, so it's gonna be fine
Right, ugh, ok well try working it a little bit or something
Like that?
Does it feel good?
Uh, it's cool?
What about when I grab you dick like this
Your little baby dick all right?
Yeah, it's... yeah they're cool
Uh huh, now do it to yourself bitch!
Do it! Alright, time to get real freaky
Have you ever heard of Ricky Martin waterslide?
Uh, I haven't got the chance, but I used to be really into it
So it's true, you like being tickled in your little starfish?
Yeah, [chicken noises]
Alright, calm down, calm down
Take a drink out of your sippy cup
Was it worth it?
This is all worth it if my album...
Good, ok, wow, oh my God your hair is just so buoyantly bouncy
And not a hair's out of place
It's fantastic, it's fantastic
Do you have some kind of a special gel or something?
Um, no, I just wake up and blow-dry it
I mean, oh wow
Yeah, this does it
Justin Bieber you really are something special
Yeah
[laughs]