The Man I Wanna Be

I didn't exactly wanna change
But it was necessary to survive
You know I realized that
Anything is better than how I was, yeah

A breath of fresh air is really what I'm searching for
Instead, I'm frustrated, find myself cursing more
I came a long way from jail cells and burning [?]
I'm tryna get my point across in ways you never heard before
Talk about your feelings, I'm too callous to discuss
My scale is tipping over, finding balance is a must
I'm looking in the mirror like, "You ain't talented enough"
But this music gets me higher than the mileage on my truck
Never again, that's what I tell myself and I'm not going back
My priorities, that's where I got my focus at
I'm drifting to the left, you'll never pass me in the fast lane
The picture's perfect but it's inside of a cracked frame
There's no denying, me, I've done what others haven't
They automatically have labeled me a savage
Yes, I'm acting out on defects but I'm tryna break the habit
I know that I can change but it's gonna take some magic
I'm tryna reach the top but all I got's a broken ladder
But I'm okay today, that's merely all that matters
All that gossip, I don't listen to that chatter
I'm not your role model, but trust me, I am flattered
I pay it forward, you won't every catch me keeping score
I'm grinding in the studio until the day I leave for tour
What it takes, I'll walk the distance till my feet are sore
And if I gave you a chunk of my heart, give me a piece of yours
I'm looking in her eyes no matter what happens, and she with me
Let's face this world together, overcome my struggles fluently
You can hate me for my past or you can choose to see
That I am different than the person that I used to be
And every time I self-wheel, I always fail the driver's test
If love's a potent drug, I guess I'm dealing with the side effects
Shed my skin, start from scratch, nevermind the stress
And leave the toxic traits behind, burn them, then combine the rest

When I'm gone I hope my music lives forever
Remember how I made you feel with all my words and letters
The outcome doesn't matter, it's more about the endeavor
So before I die, let me scream, it's truly been a pleasure
I appreciate it all, never took anyone for granted
Now I'm just tryna leave my footprint in this concrete on this planet
I need to dig deeper, tryna escape the grim reaper
Alcohol is telling me don't worry, you're just a binge drinker
What are the actions that I'm taking tryna fill this void?
My emotions, they go up and down like bitcoin
So come and watch my every move like I am cryptocurrency
I can never forget every person that has deserted me
Our trust wasn't fractured, understand that was a major break
I'm alone for a reason, don't come invade my space
Now run along and grab anybody to take my place
I was good before I met you, don't attempt to be my saving grace

Hey, look, I ain't going anywhere, I'm not leaving
I'll continue to create until the day I stop breathing
Every paragraph and every sentence got meaning
I'm realizing my life's incredible, I'm not dreaming
And my middle finger's stuck, I need your help to put it down
Hold my pen and paper as I fly above the clouds
And when I'm falling, I don't wake up, pull the rip cord
I need to listen more so I don't misinformed
See, I do this by my lonesome, no promotion, no manager
I'm always smiling but never for the camera
It's problem after problem, I can't solve 'em, got a case slow
The inspiration's dormant, stagnant, blowing out my fake smoke
I'm handling the trauma as I utilize my coping skills
And many nights I pinch myself just to know it's real
I find the motivation, there's no reason to be sad
So you can have everything and still want what you don't have
The damage that was caused, it was me, self-inflicted
I'm demolishing these barricades and personal restrictions
I never break traditions, I am kind of superstitious
You can find me in the corner, minding my own business
I'm writing this in ink that's coming dripping off my tattoo
My decisions opposite of healthy, fast food
The energy you're putting in, I promise I will match you
I'm dressing like a bum so my daughter doesn't have to

All the secrets that I've kept
I can never forget to live this life with no regrets
Consistently I'm changing, everyone is gonna see
How I'm evolving every day into the man I wanna be