My Disguise

(album: I Let The Devil In - 2018)

There is nothing like the unfamiliar air it brings me back to when this all made sense
Bitter, depressed, staring back at death
I'm pushing myself to the edge over what happens next
The pain, the cost, destruction of the thought to take account for everything that I've lost
The change, we sought, compelling us to rot
I never said I'm the only one

Fight till there's nothing left
You have much more to give
You owe it to yourself
You owe it to yourself
There's nothing wrong with asking for help

In my head I rewind
Falling away from my disguise
Am I dead or lost in time?
I'm trying to read through the feelings that lead me to the light
We say we feel alright, while we starve to feel alive
In my head I rewind, falling away, away away from my disguise

There's nothing there to hold me back
I'm not defined by the things I lack
I often think of the nights I stared into your eyes
And you would tell me what it's like to want to die
I have the heart to forgive
But how could I forget the way you shut me out when I chose to let you in?

Fight till there's nothing left
You have much more to give
You owe it to yourself
You owe it to yourself
There is nothing wrong with asking for help

In my head I rewind
Falling away from my disguise
Am I dead or lost in time?
I'm trying to read through the feelings that lead me to the light
We say we feel alright, while we starve to feel alive
In my head I rewind, falling away, away away from my disguise

Though we struggle, I trust that this war is not the end
My curse is not my crutch
I often think of the nights I stared into your eyes
And you would tell me what it's like to want to die
But now I know how you felt when you recalled those days you almost left this place; I finally feel your pain
The pain, the cost, destruction of the thought to take account for everything that I've lost
The change. We sought, compelling us to rot
I never said I'm the only one

We say we feel alright while we starve to feel alive
In my head I rewind, falling away, away away from my disguise