The Girl With The Strong Arm

(album: Stoney's Extra Stout (Pig) - 1995)

The girl with the strong arm has saved world cinema
Saved it from itself I like to think
The girl with the strong arm restores old paintings
Including one she found under the sink
The girl with the strong arm killed an innocent bystander
That leaves you with a mental picture
The girl with the strong arm drank straight whiskey
But I understand she still quotes scriptures

All the poor gardeners pooled their resources
During the week long festival
Kneeling down to think about the future
Racing you would be quite dull
After many years of exodus
The hatchery fish run in rich rivers
I'm afraid the memories regarding Nixon
Are a little scary

The girl with the strong arm threatens the Quakers
They all say she's mad y'know
The girl with the strong arm has an abrasive accent
She uses words like eskimo
The girl with the strong arm stands beside a woman
Whose many parts add up to one
The girl with the strong arm makes political commentary
Yet I feel that it's all in fun

In your nightmares rub around
Those gay white males line up at church
Drink their coffee pretend to be a cowboy
Set aside an hour to search
Pulling up leaves like little Russian problems
Is now the tasty thing to do
The unattractive [?] cloying sweetness is you

The most popular sidearm with Canadian woodsmen
Is the blue steel woodchuck gun
Manufactured in Atlanta, Georgia
By the firm of Youse & Son
I find no fault with the two young lovers
Who dine all night on candied eels
Then dance till dawn to big band music
And the sound of baboon squeals
All last night I stared at jelly
Till I knew love was all around
Travelling through O'Hare airport
Dressed like a circus clown

The girl with the strong arm has started licking batteries
And that's kinda strange, even for her
The girl with the strong arm would like to be a banker
But I don't think she's really sure

Using strings just to pull things over
Really keeps the party going
I'm not sure but the history of Denmark
Maybe the only thing worth knowing
Has it ever dawned on you
That car accidents just might be art
And all those kids in foster care
Just don't think you're very smart
Down by the [?] on mother's day
In a state of perpetual bliss
Stan's the man with the lisp