Oh Mr. Peanut

(album: Laughter - 1980)

Oi!, Rotten hat!
Where'd you get that hair-cut?
Brent Cross Shopping Centre?
I bet your mother fed you with a catapult

Oh, Mr. Shag Nasty
A bit of give and take
You call me a divvy
And I think you're a snake!

Oh, Mr. Knitting Crouch
Come on for heaven's sake
Stick your finger up your nose
'Cos you give me the ache!

Oh, Mr. Peanut
I don't like you at all
Not only are they poisonous
But your eyes are much too small

Oh, Mr. Pastry Draws
You haven't got a clue
So stick you finger up your nose
And paint your money blue!

I saw Monsieur of course you must joking
Oh yeah Mein Herr you must be up the creek
What's more Signor the finger that you're poking
That finger stands for reason so to speak

Oh, Mr. Horribleness
That's enough of that
You'll call me a ninny
And you're a stupid twat!

Oh, Mr. Dog's Breath
Why don't you piss right off!
Stick your finger up your nose, you toff

I'm sure Monsieur I know that you're a jubbly
Oh yeah Mein Herr for certainly you're cracked
What's more Signor you look a little bit wobbly
Let me suggest you put your finger back

For all your life's offences you ain't nothing but a creep
Your mouth is full of sugar, your guts are fast asleep
So stick your finger up your nose and leave it there for keeps
I hate you Mr Peanut you really make me weep