Diver

(album: MY NINJA WAY - 2023)

That horizon we chased is drifting further away
And the blue of the sky is too bright to believe with this heartache
Stuck in a crowd where everybody around is frozen in place
And it's getting harder to breathe but I'm diving in anyway

Maybe I'd be better off letting it go
And cut away this pain that is suffocating
But I know that it won't really heal me the way that I want
Even if everybody wants to be my enemy
I know that I've still got a light shining on me
Though I've sunk so far beyond its reach

It is so painful here
And I'm running out of air
Even though my lungs keep growing tighter
I'll keep descending like a deep-sea diver
I just wanna clarify
If I'm even still alive
Until my feet touch the ocean floor I'll keep holding my breath
And I'll breathe again

There's a map in my mind, keeps me tossing and turning at night
And when I'm all alone it will show me all the things I will never find
Thought I was strong but once again I was wrong to believe that I might
One day be stronger than you or at least put up a fight

Like a swan far from home, it takes flight
Floating away in the starry night sky
Through the waves made of pain, it slowly started to rain
But I can never play believe and be someone I'm not
Stars are always stars but it's something I've always fought
How far can I go until I'm caught?

Weighed down by the anchor of shame and despair
I tried to call out for help, tried to send up a prayer
Through the waves made of pain, it slowly started to rain

It is so painful here
And I'm running out of air
Even though my lungs keep growing tighter
I'll keep descending like a deep-sea diver
I just wanna clarify
If I'm even still alive
Until my feet touch the ocean floor I'll keep holding my breath
But I can finally breathe again
Now that I've seen what lies at the light I will never forget
I'll never drown again