Jess Song

(album: Ghetto Gospel: The New Testament - 2018)

6 months of pains in my leg
Went to the GP and they gave me the same thing again
Painkillers ain't killing the pain though
And every visit I take notes
They never listen what do they know
It's just alright now I need an MRI
Seven weeks and it's finally scan time
I'm getting weak I ain't tryna be flat line
I got friends I never need on stand by
The results are in I received its a landmine
Looking in the mirror like you can't die yet
Kind of news that you can't digest, you can't digest
We me, why not she, now I need a CT and biopsy
Baby father tried drop me, things became harder for me and my offspring
Crying on a hard shoulder, osteosarcoma
For anyone don't know, sounds like I need a heart donor
But I been diagnosed with a cancer that you won't find in most
But it's inside my bones I hope they find an antidote or an answer
And they talkin amputation, no more standing ovations
Overstand what I'm saying
How can a 3 year old hold my hand through this mayhem

Too much to live for
I don't wanna miss you no
Wipe your tears
Face your fears for me
I'll be here for you
Like you'll be here for me

Let me paint this picture, portrait for the people
4 days on chemo
Fuck this I need weed tho
Hair loss, feels like it was torn off
Only saw my reflection when tears dropped
Never looked in the mirror for a month
I say I'm a 10 on a normal day, but here what
Today [?]
Now it's time for my leg operation
But by now it's in my lungs, that's the next complication
I got to speak to my son, that's the next conversation
It's hard being a mum, with death confirmation
Back on the chemo it's not working though
No one wants to work when its work involved
I'm looking for other solutions, google
Got my internets working slow
Now everyone say I'm giving up
Coming off chemo, I don't give a fuck
Where's my niggas out ravin
Where's my niggas that I was there for when they needed me most
I came quick, this ain't the same shit
Mums been a rock, dads been a broken man
Ellies been an open hand
Aarons my nigga he overstands
Ghetts is my high when I'm sober fam
Got two brothers, ones in jail
The other one lost his son to cancer at 8 years old
And it must be hell
Kayleigh's been a mother to my son in this fuckree world
And last time I spoke to momma
I told her tell God I ain't not ready yet
Sorry I can't come as well
P.S that's his youngest girl

Too much to live for
I don't wanna miss you no
Wipe your tears
Face your fears for me
I'll be here for you
Like you'll be here for me

Too much to live for
I don't wanna miss you no
Wipe your tears
Face your fears for me
I'll be here for you
Like you'll be here for me

Fighter mode, green juices and a [?] wallet
I only want a destiny that I can control
I don't feel sorry for myself anymore
It's all mind control
I left it in gods hands
It's out of my control
Got plans, got a life you know
God damn I would like to roll so (turn up)
Anywhere but dere (turn up)
22 Magnums (turn up)
Your concerns don't concern us, turn up

I ain't the walking dead
I don't wanna live
I'd rather walk instead
Don't feel sorry for me
Cancer ain't morgueing jess

They say no one survives what I got
Well I'm writing this letter cause I feel like they're writing me off
Is it right is it wrong, I been righting my wrongs
Gave my life to God, and I ain't perfect still
But I'm a person still, with a purpose still
I got a new ting and it's working still
And a lot of my time on my hands I ain't working still
Got to go back on the chemo, thoughts in the back of my mind
I wonder if it's worth it still

Oh here we go again
Go to give it a go again
I'm nervous still
You wouldn't know I was terminally ill

Too much to live for
I don't wanna miss you no
Wipe your tears
Face your fears for me
I'll be here for you
Like you'll be here for me

Too much to live for
I don't wanna miss you no
Wipe your tears
Face your fears for me
I'll be here for you
Like you'll be here for me