White Linen Affair (Toney Awards)

(album: The Big Doe Rehab - 2007)

[skit plays for first minute or so of track]

[Ghostface Killah]
Congratulations, we have refreshments and glass bracelets
Avian water's ya choice, put ice
I'm missing a g-note, fixed price
But the only thing fixed, is the holes that we put in the dykes
Rocks is okay, my voice is extraordinaire
The man that scrapped with lions, hiberated with polar bears
Hope I don't play with baking soda in my older years
Mantles'll sit up like hill, I'd have to fold my beard
Check one, two, Sonny, tell Bob to dim the lights up
You see the studs, I want the red strobe to hit it right
Stones are screaming, hot lattes, the rosees
My robes is a murder statement, you fucking with rode rage
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
Children of all ages, I pack metal like braces
Not for the fingers, bitches fighting over my paper
Y'all need to chill, sit the fuck down and fix ya makeup
Ghost is ya host, so allow me, hand me ya coats
Bentley Farnsworth, I'll check him proudly
We got D-Block, Wu-Tang, Jay-Z and Nas
Also performing 50 Cent, Terror Squad
From the top, we have the great Luda, Jeezy and Wayne
T.I., Rick Ross, Rich Boy, Snoop and The Game
And for my ladies, we have, Ne-Yo with Usher
Y'all have a seat, we be right back, mothafucka...

[Interlude: Shawn Wigs]
Come on, this commercial break's almost over
OutKast, M.J.G., you're at Talib's table
Fab, U.G.K., table seven, let's go, come on
Yo, Beans, Toney said "Good looking on that haze"
Commercial, come on, let's go, guys...
Coming back in, five, four, three, two, one...

[Ghostface Killah]
Yeah, check out my band playing, Rhythm Roots Allstars
They play for DipSet, E-40, Lil' Jon, Jennifer Hudson and Norah Jones
Mary J. Blige, with her shades on, I could tell by her stones
On the left, we have Lenny Kravitz, Puffy, Pharrell, Bus
Keith Murray, Redman, hitting that double Dutch
What an event, peace to Denzel
Give this man a round of applause, he do it so well [applause]

[Interlude: Ghostface Killah (Shawn Wigs)]
Ladies and gents, ladies and gents...
Alright, alright, have a seat, have a seat...
Without further adiou, he needs no introduction
He is my co-host... Shawn Ripple!
(Alright, is this thing on? Eh, eh, sweetheart, come here
Got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my cock
Heard you like to... blow money... hahaha)

[Shawn Wigs]
It was amazing, I seen Robin Thicke and Robin Leech
Robin Williams, Robin Givens and Meryl Streep
A real award show, there's Kanye West
Pamela Anderson, and she brought both of them breasts
Paris Hilton and Lindsay, holding down Britney's skirt
No more free looks, you gotta put in work
To get a glimpse, seen Don Juan with all of his pimps
And they hoes on they side, sipping they four-fives
And Billy Dean...

[Ghostface Killah]
Excuse me, have you seen Alicia Keys?
Tell her the limo's outside, she's bouncing with me
The Don, y'all rappers don't steal my ash trays
My coat hangers is diamonded out like my last gates
Superhead, gave the low scoop to Halle
She said, before Whitney, she was fucking with Bobby
Mos Def, The Roots, Common and Nelly
Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, Three 6 Maf', yo, and she fucked O.J... word?