Shotgun

(album: The Manifesto - 2003)

Yeah, can you feel it, it's the Goldie Looking Chain with 2 Hats
He's back and this time he's the shotgun surgeon You Knows

Shotgun Surgery
My name's 2 Hats, I'm in the glc
Shotgun surgeon is my occupation
I'll come round your house to perform an operation
Not qualified as a docter but I don't give a fcuk
I'll do an abortion or a quick nip and tuck
I'll do it on the cheap, my basement is the clinic
The only problem is there's no anaesthetic
No panic, here's my bong take two hits
And while your fcuked up I'll enlarge your tits
Scissors, needle and a thread are the tools I use
The only other painkiller might leave a bruise
Nip, tuck and sew make her tight like a virgin
Come and see me I'm the shotgun surgeon

Oh yeah, that's right he's the shotgun sheriff
That's 2 Hats from the Goldie Looking Chain
Also known as 2000 AD
If you don't knows it, gets to knows it
That's right safe as fcuk for the year 2003
He's the shotgun sheriff man

I do this operation to improve penetration
I can make vadges so tight that you'll need lubrication
Doing stuff like Doctor Quinn, I'm safe like John Shaft
20 quid for liposuction, 50 quid for skin grafts
Soapy water and a tube is all I need
I'm the backstreet abortionist, I'm high up on weed
I'll make your sisters tits go from A cup to Double D
Make an appointment today at the shotgun surgery

I heard a story about him once, some of the things that he's done
He's fcuking known around Pil' as the shotgun surgeon
He's got a dodgy clinic somewhere down in a basement
And on Friday's he does half price hormone replacements
Sometimes he's fcuked in the head and sometimes he's clever
He turned a woman called Jane into a bloke called Trevor
Not many people go to him 'cos they think that he's bunk
'cos he stuck the dick on backwards and blew Trevor's balls up with spunk

The shotgun surgeon, busting a lyric
Birthday present face-lift for your mother down the clinic
You wanna make money go behind the screens and undress
I'll take your kidneys and sell them to the NHS
I diagnosed this murder for Dick Van Dyke
They call me shotgun and I'm wearing Nike
I do nosejobs but not vasectomy's
So make the appointment at the shotgun surgery

Yeah, you knows it clart
That's right he's the shotgun surgeon
Also knows as the anaesthetist
The surgery's open brah, business starts here
Big respect to Mr Loveggs, big respect to One Step Down
Big respect to Adam Hussein, this is P Xain, you fcuking knows it

250 quid was all I had to pay
To get a boob job for my missus's 17th birthday
He gave me 10% off, he was safe I could tell
And he said whilst she's there, he'd pierce her cl*t as well
But when she came back it was a fcuking disgrace
He'd put the tits in the wrong place
She said the surgeon had been fcuked up on crack
And accidentally put the tits on her back
There was nothing I could do, I had no receipt
This is what happens down Pil's backstreets
She was upset and so was I for a while
But I get to feel her tits while I'm doing her doggy style

I can improve your girlfriend's blowjob technique
Bring her down the surgery and I'll take out her teeth
I'll do electrolysis to remove your missus's moustache
And I'll lobotomise your mother if you pays me in cash
It's private healthcare, I operate for a fee
My name's 2 Hats, I'm from the GLC
Enlarge your girlfriend's butt or do your mum's hysterectomy
Make the appointment at the shotgun surgery

Yeah! Shotgun Sheriff, You Knows, Goldie Looking Chain