Charmschool

(album: Safe As Fuck - 2005)

[Adam]
E=mc squared so I've heard,
This is charm school, how to pull a smart bird,
Love to dance with a skank with a stiff in my pants,
You're thinking romance while I'm thinking "are they implants?"

Girl, you're better looking than my missus,
Want to give you deep love,
And then shower you with kisses,
On your pink parts, cos this Newport clart,
Is into Charm School like Da Vinci to art,
This is a Hussain education it involves sex, draw and a Playstation,
Pushing your buttons, now you're thinking that I'm tender,
Like Craig David with a hidden agenda.

So I step to her, and say "what's up?"
I'm not much too look at but girl you're in luck,
It's not all about looks, confidence or personality,
Wide ons, hardons, loving a bit of rubsies.

Adam's charm school,
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school,
(getting education)
Adam's charm school,
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school,
(he don't care if you're minging)

[Eggsy]
He's the G with the CSE,
A real A* plus and they teach you for free,

[P. Xain]
Charm School,
Skills to rob tills,
NVQ's, to City And Guilds,

[2 Hats]
Double detention but it don't matter,
I got my fingers stuck in the dinner ladies' batter,

[Mystikal]
Ding-a-ling,

The bell's for you, not for me,
I graduated from charm school back in 1983,

[Ballsy]
Adam Hussain, I needs another lesson,
And when the bell rings, we're going on a session,
And have a little wager to see who can pull,
The most birds, I've lost count, I've got my hands full,

[2 Hats]
This charm school,
Where I learns from the master,
To get my finger in, just a little bit faster,
In and out, up and down, there's no complication,
A GLC baby's what you get for graduation,

[Eggsy]
It's a simple course and it won't involve revision,
Just 12 pints of lager in a nightclub on a mission,
His teaching style is more than just particular,
And if he likes your bits then he'll get extra-curricular,

[P. Xain]
I went to the university of life and the school of thought,
But I forgot all of the important things what I was taught,
Oh son, you gotta learn,
That if you take 12 pukkas you're bound to gurn,

Adam's charm school,
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school,
(getting education)
Adam's charm school,
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school,
(he don't care if you're minging)

[Eggsy]
Take time to study and invest,
If you follow the charm school rules you'll be impressed,
There's no exams and it don't involve money,
Just a never-ending urge to try and get yourself some cunny,
Think style, charm and finesse,
Mix it up with Adam and then chuck him some breasts,
Add confusion, ladies, and 27 beers,
Then wait down the clinic till the test results clears.

[Adam]
Smooth! Like a pane of glass,
I'm gonna kick your ass if you try and skip my class,
I'll be your knight in shining armour,
Smoking marijuana,
Whispering sweet nothings cos you knows that I'm a charmer.

[Billy]
Top class, you're free to enrol,
Like Pandora's box to Adrian Mole,
Or the Bee Gees, for whom the bell tolls,
Give it a shot cos every hole's a goal.

Adam's charm school,
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school,
(getting education)
Adam's charm school,
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school,
(he don't care if you're minging)
Adam's charm school,
(it's like Jamie Oliver to chips)
Adam's charm school,
(so it's fingers on lips)
Adam's charm school,
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school,
(he don't care if you're minging)