ditch

Fuck my life, fuck my health
You don't care so I'll go fuck myself
Fuck this job, fuck this car
Every song that I write just coexists with a scar
And I've got paragraphs about the shit that I will never say
'Cause it'll kill you just to hear me whine and bitch all fucking day
Maybe the grass is green in other states where I choose to reside
Maybe a glimpse of light will formulate and catch my fucking eye
And maybe you'll hear this when you check my page and ask if I'm alright
Cause I've been afraid of all the darkest places lying in my mind

I will convince myself I'm dying but then act like I'm just fine
My mind's a scary fucking place and I can't fix it while I drive
But my car is Lucy in the sky with diamonds going sixty five
And you're just a pot hole maybe Yoko Ono screaming by my side
Is this the end of things I'm strumming strings just trying to decide
'Cause I am afraid of me so save me please I beg you just to try
I'm losing my purpose, life's a circus, they said please enjoy the ride
My seatbelt is broken, eyes wide open as my body starts to slide

If I escape the wreck I'll disconnect from everyone online
I'll pack my belongings I've been longing for this moment my whole life
I'll disappear for months no mentions of my status or a clue
I'm fine don't you worry there's no hurry to return to what I knew
It's hard to calculate these conversations if I'm being truth
-ful I wanna congregate all that relate to everything I spew
In midst of my disconnect I'll stay in check & keep in touch with few
As long as I'm open im just hoping that it's something I'll get through

'Cause I'm a fucking wreck, oh, what the heck, why do I even try?
I lie in the grass, high off my ass and watch the clouds just pass on by
If life has a purpose, I am nervous to unravel what is mine
I'll trip and I'll travel down the rabbit hole and ditch my bags inside