Hyperventilating

(album: Kintsugi - 2020)

[Abstract:]
17 with a pen and a pad, writing out my life making sense of my past
Tryna find the light through a sensitive mask
I don't take it off till I'm deep in a track
Speaking to myself just reflecting off of the page
Who knew the passive kid was just good at passing the rage
Off into a song so it couldn't live in the cage
That sat upon his shoulders just hiding behind his face
Back when it was simple, before it was a job, before the expectations, before I knew the odds
Back when it was just a broken heart I had to fix
Now I'm scared that I've been broken since I made a couple hits
Fans want me to fly but they keep me on a leash
Fears of losing me to a level that they can't reach
This the life I chose and they tell me that I'm a beast
But all I wanted was the beauty, all I'm searching for is peace

Can someone help me catch my breathe
My heart is beating out my chest, hyperventilating
I thought I was waiting, on someone to save me
But I'm finding lately, all I can count on to not drive me crazy
Is being right here for the person who needs me
But holding myself up it ain't been to easy

[Ivan B:]
They give me pain then I elevate
Replicate the feeling When I meditate
Can't find my state of mind
When I'm out of state
If I take a break
I'ma break
Overthink
When I don't wanna think
Wash my thoughts
I don't wanna sink in them
Pointing out my fears
Like what you think of them
Counting out the years
Like What you leave in them
Dropping every classic
How you sleep on him
How you sleep on him
Lately I've been keeping a secret
Of always feeling defeated
Feelin the Blisters on my feet I see
Y'all kicking your feet up
Don't call me to kick it
I'm on a track
I don't mean a meet up
If you ain't working
You're working to keep up
Can't see me
I'll Sia, (Aye!)
Out of breath
I've been a mess
Too many choices
Been a guess
Overworking cause
I know the waters coming
For the neck
Doing more
And feeling less
Is that a recipe
I'll test
Looking out the window
Got a question for the blessed

[Abstract:]
Can someone help me catch my breathe
My heart is beating out my chest, hyperventilating
I thought I was waiting, on someone to save me
But I'm finding lately, all I can count on to not drive me crazy
Is being right here for the person who needs me
But holding myself up it ain't been to easy

[YONAS:]
Truth be told, I've been awake
I went from starving to having the competition on my dinner plate
And I don't say that to intimidate
I just want these gimmicky rappers to step aside so I can innovate
I built my whole studio inside my living space
So I'm right at home with the lyricism I illustrate
I give people their flowers while they can smell 'em
And not a minute late cuz then they start to disintegrate
Rose pedals, and falsettos
They never really make it to these dark ghetto's
So Air Jordan's, and Margiela's, in Dark yellow
Will shield me from the rain when the storm settles. Damn
It ain't been easy, but I'm fine with that
I put my heart into this music, it's forever where you'll find me at
I'm in the future looking back at this rap like an artifact
Tryna remember just where I started at