The Joker's Wild

(album: Riddle Box - 1995)

"Welcome to another exciting episode of Del Ray's number one
game show, The Joker's Wild! Shaggy, tell us something about
tonight's contestants."

"Hey, motherfuckers
Get ready for the killer show of this bitch
We gotta cop, we gotta judge, and we gotta redneck
So step the fuck up and play the Joker's Wild!"

[Violent J]
Woohoo!
Everybody smile
Guess who's back on your underground dial (who?)
It's the game show host with the most (Violent J)
And tonight we finna have a little pig roast
Cop copper, it's been a long while
Lace up your boots and come on down the aisle
Mr. Pig-Man packing that steel
But tonight, you ain't shit, now spin the fuckin wheel
Looks good, nice try
Now let's see just how ya gonna die?
Lucky, lucky, he landed on Carpenter Jed
He just pounds nails in your forehead
The pig got lucky that time
But let's take a look who's next down the line
Oh, the 43rd District judge
Hey pal, remember me
You threw me in jail
Take a spin or I'll snap your neck
The clicker's landed, let me check
The Jokey, hey it ain't bad at all
We just cut your face off and slap your skull
Who's next for the games and fun?
Hillbilly Earl, come on down, run
The redneck that sicked his dog on me
Now that's gonna cost you a spin, buddy
Spin around and around it goes
Staple your lips shut, cut off your toes
Then I throw your corpse on top of the pile
Anything goes on the Joker's Wild

"Tell me who killed 17 people and later ate their dead bodies?"
"Jeffrey Dahmer."
"No, the correct answer would be your mother. Shaggs?"

"Aww, shit, motherfuckers
Get ready for round two of this bitch
So, if you want your fucking neckbone chopped
Step the fuck up and play the Joker's Wild!"

[Violent J]
You like big money and prizes, don't ya
You'd probably kill for a big prize, won't ya
Ya little bitch, it's your turn to spin
Free money, now spin again
Oh goody, the unzip your drawers
I'm finna clip this chain on your balls
Raise ya upside down for the bang bada
Now we bust your head like a pinata (hey!)
The audience loves that shit
Listen to em cheer when your forehead splits
Wait! Cut to a break, oh shit, d-damn ah
We got guts on the camera

"The Joker's Wild is brought to you by...Faygo
EVERYBODY SING!!"
"Send your momma straight up to the store, tell that bitch to bring home a
Faygo"

[Violent J]
Welcome back to the Carnival Show
Here's your chance for the big money cash flow
Hit your buzzer, pull your lever
Joker, joker, lemon, we sever your head
Pick a door, one, two, or three
It's the same behind every door, me
There's no escape, now gimme that bald head
The crowd can't help, look, they're all dead
At home they just watching your doom
We broadcast from hell to your living room
I ripped off his knuckle, wicked clown style
Anything goes on the Joker's Wild

"It's time to play hit or miss. Contestant number one, open your
mouth. Contestant number two, get ready. Will he hit or miss....
HE HIT! What's next?"

"We got money, we got cash, we got prizes
We got blood, we got guts
We got naked dead bitches on the Joker's Wild"

[Violent J]
I got my yellow suit and my purple tie
Somebody's gonna die, oh my
It's Mr. Thompson, my next door neighbor
Always bitchin, yellin from the kitchen
Window, see he died and he went to hell though
We meet again, I got my own game show
Spin the wheel, cuz I just can't fuck around
BONUS ROUND!
Oh shit, the end of the game
Bonus round, we going out with a bang
You gotta chance for money and prizes
You gotta chance at death, too hahah
So get ready, I'm coming at'cha fast
Your chance for freedom at last
Four questions, so are you ready, Jack?
"Uh, I think so", load the gat

"The governer?"
"Eats butt."
"Yes. The square root of two?"
"Uhhh..."
"Correct. Nutsacs don't belong in?"
"Butt cracks"
"Right. Richboys eat?"
"Caviar."
"No, the correct answer's bullets." [gunshots]

"Oh geez, this is Bink Chipperwink saying so long till next week folks
See ya later, goodbye"

"That's it, go home (aww!)"