The Truth

(album: You're Not Alone - 2020)

I started being honest with myself
Having conversations that weren't very easy, I need help
Three words never thought I'd speak
But here we are, Xanax bars
Started popping them to cope, then got addicted
Started thinking that I'd probably die alone
See this life is way too fast for me
I'm in the same career where half my colleagues turn to casualties
Know y'all got those R.I.P tweets up in the drafts ready to go
For the moment that I finally take too much and overdose
Always thinking 'bout my father bursting into my apartment
Just to see his only son overdosing on the carpet
Flashing back to every memory of when I was a kid
While he makes a final speech before he closes up the lid

I couldn't do it anymore, flush the rest and went to war
I'm getting sober I'm taking my spot back and shut the door on my addiction
I hope you listen, 'cause everything I write from here on out is my prescription
Yeah, that's the mission
All this fame is overrated, over what man? I been stressed
All these fake people started to surround me and my friends
I don't need that energy, I don't let those demons in
Finally starting therapy, now it's time to reinvent, uh
I got demons (Josh we know that you got demons)
They been scheming, plotting on my head and they control my feelins'
They make death sound so appealing
But I keep on moving 'cause I don't wanna give up
I been working I been zoning I been crafting up this masterpiece
Is it time where I top everyone that's out here passing me
You want the old Josh, I think we found him
Shook his cage and set him loose
'Bout to take over, they just don't have a clue, yeah

Thought I was done, that was just the beginning
I'm taking my sound and now I'm reinventing it
Push my limits, said no more gimmicks
I'm treating my music like my final minutes
Until I hit that self destruct, this is my only motive
Gotta be focused, I'm locked and loaded
Explosive, I'm so devoted
You said that you wanna break rap, I been there (Already done that)
But they would never care if you never read or say something
Never been through the mud, never read your day once
Tell you that you changed up, 'cause you got your pay up

And as I been climbing the ladder, circle gets smaller
I'm sadder, enemies spawning
I'm flattered but I guess none of it matters
Feels like I don't have no one around me to tell me that I been messing up
So I just rely upon myself to learn there's lessons of counting my blessins'
Counting money is like counting my stresses
Less I got of one, the less I got of the other
My demons pulling me under
So guess I'm just testing the suffer
Rather not be great, 'cause all the great ones plunder

It's easier to get high
It's easier to let go of the things that hurt you again
It's easier to get drunk
It's easier to drink up when your pain goes on, now I know