Dear Ben

(album: Not Waving, But Drowning - 2019)

I've watched you grow
From first kick, to first kiss
Shoulder rides to sleepless nights
Felt tip crows to scoring goals, and bedtime Katamino
Watched you hold your own from boy to man
As you stand firm, bare and bold
Not afraid to walk alone
Reveal your pain. Unique. Defiant. Uncompromising
And with our compass lost, we talked long into the darkest hours
Until we saw the burnished sky, and our eyes stung as our words blurred and became thoughts, as we were silenced by the dawn
We clung to each other like sailors in a storm as our world pitched and bucked, our breath stolen by grief
But you stood strong, filled such big boots
Gripped to the helm and steered us on into the calm
Abandoned your lifetime ambition, to hold us down
Took on a different mission, while we were turned inside out, raw and gaping
But you wrapped us up in your dream, realised your vision and fed us with your words of power
Like buccaneers, we sailed the seven seas and drank in the wonders of your world, and returned giddy with the heady smell of your success
And when that time came, oh did we weep, but the tears that streaked our cheeks were stained with glee because we knew that this was not goodbye, that you'd be back, that you'd never really left
Because love does not lessen by miles it's not locked out by doors or walls, but reinforced in thought and heart it cannot be lost like a key or a sock, or left behind in a box, it is present in each and every breath and flows deep with every beat and deed
It may not be your presence but it's your essence that remains. Forever dancing like glitter in our air
And now it's as clear to me my beautiful boy, as naked as the joy that caresses the creases of your eye, that you've finally found your one, your golden snitch, and my task is done, for I've gained a daughter, I've not lost a son

-Ma, you wait till Emily hears that, you wait till the world hears that... fuck
-Do you like it?
-It's even better than the first one
-My days...