Spread Thin

(album: The Longer Now - 2015)

I'll stay awake
Spread thin
While the worms remind me,
"No failure in my house"

Where does it come from?
When did I get so obsessed?
Overextending myself again
I guess I'm a neurotic mess
Check my vitals
Check my pulse
I've got worms crawling through my skull
And no matter how much I may try to let go
It's my failures that bleed through the most
Running out of time again

I'll stay awake
Just keeping busy 'til my heart stops
Spread thin
Just spinning my wheels 'til they fall off

Nobody cares what you've got on your plate
When all that will matter is how much you ate
So I keep persistently stuffing my face
But I'm missing the point
And it all goes to waste
Compensating for all that I lack
For all of those years I will never get back
I'm trying
But it just feels like lying
Hollow ambition
Empty vision
Empty life
Distractions just to keep myself occupied
At least I've got my pride, right?
Falling out of reach again

I'll stay awake
Just keeping busy 'til my heart stops
Spread thin
Just spinning my wheels 'til they fall off

What if all I am
And all I'll ever be
Is just a coward
With hand-me-down philosophy

All these years of playing scholar
I haven't learned a goddamn thing
Are these shadows getting taller?
Or am I just imagining?
Another year has come to pass
I expected so much more
The holidays went by too fast
So I nailed my feet to the floor