Wax Apologetic

(album: The Longer Now - 2015)

I can't take back a single thing that I have ever done
So who is it for
When I tell you time and time again
How sorry that I really am?
I mean it
But is that ever worth a damn?
I need it
To selfishly relieve my shame

It's no use repeating
Such words are self-defeating
It was never about you anyway
Trying to find comfort
For lack of a better word

You always said
It's better to beg for forgiveness
Than ask for permission
But that's meaningless
If I can't get past all the guilt
And the shame

I can't accept the helplessness of poor luck
Because I don't believe in giving up
There's always more I could have done
In rejecting the concept of fate
I welcome the burden of blame
But it's not the same

It's no use repeating
Such words are self-defeating
It was never about you anyway
Trying to find comfort
For lack of a better word
It's no use repeating
Such words are self-defeating
It was never about you anyway
I'm just coping in my own way
Never know what else to say

Every single day
You hear that word out of my mouth
And it sickens me to say
But I can't help but let it out
It's a weakness
It's an impulse
And I know I've worn it out
I wish I could be stronger person
Or at least a better judge
Of what is out of my control
So at least then I know
It's not my fault
I'll learn to forgive myself
Some things are just out of our hands

It's no use repeating
Such words are self-defeating
It was never about you anyway
I'm just coping in my own way
There is nothing more that I can say
I'm sorry
For what it's worth