The Real Deadpool Rap

(album: The April Fools Collection - 2018)

K A T A N A slice
You don't wanna roll the dice
Don't have dough to be payin the price
Call me fire marshall bill cause I'm fire on the mic

Dead pool
Dead pool
Dead pool
Dead pool

This is verse one it's the worst one another person should write it
I'm the proponent of dope moments the owner of xmen's excited
I'm an asshole that's altered seeking cough syrup for cancer
Got this jerk disease for eternity you can't murder me you bastards
I bounce back like big sean never been gone too long
Regeneration is overrated just like the rating of this song
I like gun play and gumball I like fun ya'll that's me
When I'm not biz blowing up shit I watch disney xd
The saskatchewan that you straddle on put a saddle on then ride
I'm not attractive but sexually active leave the mask on if you don't mind
Impatient with relationships or complacent with the friendzone
If your worth pursuing I'll put my goo in and say chewie we're home
I'm a virgin that can't drive I'm just lying as if
I'm capable and insatiable and that's how I got my own kid
I'm distant and I'm detached I'm dangeorus she don't need that
No tea parties just tea bags now hit'm with the hook mc pee pants

I'm deadpool I'm so cool I might school these fools what's up
I'm the sexiest don't text me if I'm eating mexican food
Make a masterpiece with badassery that the comics code would call cruel
I'm the mercenery with vocabulary make my advesaries go boom

Second verse I'm so diverse I'm a deadly weapon plus derp
They point and aim and then I mostly maim then I post a pic and eat nerds
Cut you to pieces in an action sequence that's a demo then a franchise
Got a recipe for your rest in peace it's best to be the bad guy
I pounce quick then I punch pricks then bounce rich get more pouches
Then I fuck chicks then I make quips then I put a chimichanga in my mouth bitch
I know it's sounds sick and my amounts thick and every comment that I make is so arrousing
But I'm missing all my marbles something lousy, let me out please, don't wanna crowd please
But I'm on fleek I'm so cray bust a cap in the ass of bad hombres
It's a fact that I'm effective check it so paid but I never cash my checks in so no cocaine
Drink a barrel of budweiser but I'm so lame just a couple tranquilizers and I'm ok
For a minute fantasize that I'm home safe but it never lasts long got a broke brain
No joking always joking unless it's pussy popping time them I'm poking
Until it's broken I'm out spoken it confuses all criminals no croaking
Just carnage bloody body parts turn an army into arby's rocking party hard
But the hardest part is in the homes department no marital bliss just martial arts
I missed out on a mansion amidst the mist and pine trees
More like a squatter crashin abandoned crime scene
I cash out in my cache with a blind as a bat black lady
She's tempremental but preferential to my xtra special man gravy

I'm deadpool I'm so cool I might school these fools what's up
I'm the sexiest don't text me if I'm eating mexican food
Make a masterpiece with badassery that the comics code would call cruel
I'm the mercenery with vocabulary make my advesaries go boom

My brains obnoxious got more caption boxes than grandpa batman returns
It's madcap or doctor bong or some person I can't place I'm not sure
Talk to myself my mental health is a vengefull hell that I'm trapped in
My healing factor has made me backwards now I'm am assassin what happened?
Cause my brain is broke I see shit you don't I can banter outer beings and it's bonkers
Siracha with the watcher contemplator on the fader bacci ball in the backyard of the beyonder
It's awkward they're fandom fools, so I hook'm up with funko pop panda pool
I really do not want to get a bad review so I hit'm with that trademark attitude
Work alone on a job or its hyrda bob or the deadpool corps or some cyborg dork
I got so many titles it's like I stole the store I don't have any rivals I just spit for sport
I like lady deadpool she's the pool to pork, make a married motherfucker get a fool's divorce
She's not into self incest pool abort need a mirror and beer is my clear retort
I'm self effacing and self aware let's face it I'm amazing my receipts are rare
Count on more R ratings better be prepared shits gotta get gross to keep the theater there
Freddy kruegger saved the supes it's truth to bear, every studio should stoop and lick my pooper hairs
The director got ejected and they recouped his chair you know the sequel's gonna suck I'll take an uber there
I killed the comics and their inspirations, killed everyone I could with no hesitation
Went to the marvel writers room festooned with notations too metaphysical for a buffoon with no face left
Breaking fourth walls I got jericho genitals always taking prat falls I'm on terrible edibles
I puked in my mask it was incredible (beat) con corals give me oral because they put me on a pedestal

I'm deadpool I'm so cool I might school these fools what's up
I'm the sexiest don't text me if I'm eating mexican food
Make a masterpiece with badassery that the comics code would call cruel
I'm the mercenery with vocabulary make my advesaries go boom