O'Malley's Bar, Pt. 3

(album: B-Sides & Rarities - 2005)

Well, I caught my eye in the mirror
And gave it a long and loving inspection
"There stands some kind of man," I roared
And there did, in the reflection

My hair combed back like a raven's wing
My muscles hard and tight
And curling from the business end of my gun
Was a query-mark of cordite

Well I spun to the left and I spun to the right
And I spun to the left again
"Well, fear me! Fear me! Fear me!"
No one did cause they were dead

Huh, oh, my God

And then there came the police sirens wailing
And a bullhorn squelched and blared
"Drop your weapons and come out
With your hands in the air!"

Well, I checked the chamber of my gun
Saw one final bullet left
And my hand looked almost human
As I raised it to my head

"Drop your weapons and come out!
Keep your hands above your head!"
I took one long hard think about dying
And did exactly what they said

There must have been fifty cops out there
In a circle around O'Malley's Bar
"Don't shoot," I cried, "I'm a man unarmed!"
So they put me in the car

And they sped me away from that terrible scene
And I glanced out of the window
Saw O'Malley's Bar, saw the cops and the cars
And I started counting on my fingers

One, two, three, four
Oh my God
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
Oh my God

Well, you know those fish with the swollen lips
That clean the ocean floor
When I looked at poor old O'Malley's wife
Well that's exactly what I saw

"I have no free will", I sang
And I flew about the murder
Mrs.Richard Holmes, she screamed
You really should have heard her

Well, I sang and I laughed, I howled and I wept
I panted like a pup
I blew a hole in Mrs.Richard Holmes
And her husband stupidly stood up

As he screamed, "You are an evil man!"
And I paused a while to wonder
"If I have no free will then how can I
Be morally culpable?" I wonder

And with blazing wings I neatly aimed
Blew his head completely off

And I turned my gun on the bird-like Mr.Brooks
I thought of Saint Francis and his sparrows
And as I shot down the youthful Richardson
It was Sebastian I thought of, and his arrows

I said, "I want to introduce myself
And I am glad that all you came"
And I leapt upon the bar
And I shouted down my name