A Short About A Guy That Dies Every Night

(album: Hella Personal Film Festival - 2016)

I heard some lucky guys live a hundred lives
And wake up with a stomach full of half-dead butterflies
I'm full of dread from the faith of the evening
As each nightfall brings the blades of the guillotine
Some nights struck down trying to stand on my power
Most nights on my belly playing dead like a coward
Well I should tighten my muscles legs is frozen
Don't speak to eek out a couple extra moments
I'm trying to slow my vitals, doing silent breathing
The life of an off-beat show during pilot season
Execs wanna see who can cancel me the most
So fast I never get the chance to be a ghost
The lifespan of a house fly traded for an eon in the sand with my mouth dry
Give me torture give me terrible marching orders
Give me dirty water give me anything except shorter

Gunned down when it's sun down
Murdered in cold blood everyday
Don't hope two springs eternal like you don't know
I'm about to be gunned down when it's sun down
About to be choked out by the night
If I could just live for more than one day I might be gold

I'm hoping one day that my carcass is hard boiled
I'm stuck in the cycle of a cartoon gargoyle
And if I live to be 101 days old
I grow straight up to the sun and get charbroiled
But maybe everlasting life is a curse though
Eternity is drama making life the commercial
But no thirty second advert has enough build
When all the the night vision camera footage is a snuff film
Crush, kill. Cycle of the sun is build, destroy
I fell on so many swords my stomach's got a keloid
I've died on the phone, I've died over e-mail
I've died in the silence where the limbs of a tree fell
And lived for a brief spell and lose consciousness
In the middle of a brief yell, waking in a deep well
That started all over when the pendulum drift switched
But which two gods birthed this to begin with?

Gunned down when it's sun down
Murdered in cold blood everyday
Don't hope two springs eternal like you don't know
I'm about to be gunned down when it's sun down
About to be choked out by the night
If I could just live for more than one day I might be gold

Died everyday like the enemies in Power Rangers
Up against a homicidal flower stranger
I even heard a son growing in the upper wombs
Real fucked up to sit and have to watch the others bloom
Born on the train to Auschwitz-Birkenau
It's Groundhog's Day, every night is a murder though

[Dr. Allan W. Anderson:] So fundamentally it's a matter of securing
[Jiddu Krishnamurti:] Of course
[Dr. Allan W. Anderson:] for himself some... some...
[Jiddu Krishnamurti:]... heavenly grace
[Dr. Allan W. Anderson:]
... some heavenly grace that will preserve him against falling into this mournful round of coming to be and passing away. Thinking of the past, on the one hand, anticipating the future on the other, you're saying he falls out of the present now
[Jiddu Krishnamurti:] Yes, that's right
[Dr. Allan W. Anderson:] I understand