Cool Guy 2

(album: Stan And Judy's Kid - 1999)

[The Sounds of waves crashing]

[SEAN:] This is quite the chill night. kicking back on the beach with a fine girl such as yourself.

[GIRL #2:] Yeah, the waves are so calming.

[SEAN:] So, is your body looking like michaelangelo made you or some shit.

[GIRL #2:] Thanks Sean, that's so sweet.

[Sean presses 'play' button on tape player]

[SEAN:] Let's see what's going on under this velvet top of yours.

[GIRL #2:] Uh-oh.

[SEAN:] Oh calming, your coming off strong with some beautiful waves of your own there, baby.

[GIRL #2:] Oh Sean, you're so cute.

[SEAN:] Why don't we leave the summer skirt on, but let's take those fine panties passed those long, strong legs of yours, hmm?

[GIRL #2:] Oh my god.

[SEAN:] Yeah.

[GIRL #2:] And how about you take off clothes, Sean.

[SEAN:] Oh, oh is that right, baby? You want me to show my stuff, too?

[GIRL #2:] My god, you look good, Sean.

[SEAN:] Yeah, yeah baby I keep in shape, you know.

[GIRL #2:] Ooh.

[she starts to unbuckle his pants]

[SEAN:] Yeah, unbuckle my pants, move hands on my wet weiner and let's get it swinging.

[GIRL #2:] What's that?

[SEAN:] Let's get it swinging.

[GIRL #2:] No, the other thing you said?

[SEAN:] ...The wet-weiner?

[GIRL #2:] [gasps] You know what?

[SEAN:] Yeah?

[GIRL #2:] I'm going to go throw up, now. See you.

[SEAN:] Hmm, leave me all horny here. How... how you going to get home there, baby?

[GIRL #2:] I'll walk. [She begins to walk away]

[SEAN:] Mm-hm. I'm-a call you.

[GIRL #2:] Don't. [She's gone]

[SEAN:] A'ight, A'ight. I'm go in for a swim anyways, you know that baby. [to self:] Going to get this swing-ding wet somehow. Salted off the rubarbs, ain't that a bitch?

[THE END]