God Of War: The Musical

(album: Random Encounters: Season 10 - 2020)

I'm the God of War!
Killed pantheons galore!
Those wimps atop Olympus
And their allies are no more!

I have slain them where they stand
Now I'm known throughout the land
As a titan-killing, blood-spilling
Mighty God of War!

I'm the God of War
A champion of Yore!
I slay a lot and weigh a lot
All muscle, though, I'm sure!

I have climbed the highest peak
One that dwarves those that are Greek
All those gods you slew? I killed them, too
Cause, I'm the God of War!

I'm the God of War
Of blood and guts and gore!
I've killed a million villains
Yes, you've mentioned that before

All my enemies are dead
Once or twice, we've kept the head
I'm the famously
And shamelessly
Vindictive God of War!

I raized all of Rhodes and Atlantis!
I set free every cursed Valkyrie!
No oracle, elf, or enchantress
Stands a chance in a battle with me!

I have braved Charon's docks
Broken oaths and shattered locks
To unseal Pandora's box
All on my own!

I see no use in pointless bragging
Though last week, I killed a dragon
Placed its head beside the helms
Of fallen foes from all nine realms

I've beaten gods both Greek and Borse
A few you haven't met of course
And shouted myself hoarse while calling "Boy!"

I'm the God of War
With quite the bloody lore!
I killed dozens of my cousins
And I thrashed the sons of Thor!

I've left every earthly beast
Badly wounded or deceased

You're a crusty, old, domesticated
Angsty, over-compensated
Muffin-topped, debilitated
God of War!