A Handshake Will Do

(album: Here We Go Again - 2015)

Well, I was at the hardware store the other day
You know I'm a big "do-it-yourselfer"
My wife says "I need you to do this"
And I said "do it yourself" Ha ha I really didn't say that.
Anyway, this time she convinced me to fix a clog in the sink
So I went to the hardware store.
I saw a guy there I'd seen a couple times before
And he came up to me and I held out my hand to shake
'Cause I'm a friendly guy like that but he didn't shake my hand.
He came right in and gave me a big hug
And I tho't whoa that's kinda strange
I've only met this fella a couple times before.
But he kept hugging me and it was really weird
Just to be honest with you and I didn't know what to do.

I was purchasing a pipe wrench and a p-trap
When I got bear hugged by a guy I barely know
He hung on a little long
It was awkward it was wrong
Guys let's stop hugging when a handshake will do.

Now I ain't saying it's wrong to show emotion
Kissing cheeks in France may not be taboo
But in your hometown hardware store
Keep in mind that less is more
Guys let's stop hugging when a handshake will do.

Cause there's a time and a place
To share an embrace
Like when your brother comes home from the Army
Or you haven't seen your Dad in a year or two
Yeah times like that are fine, but it's time to draw the line
Guys let's stop hugging when a handshake will do.

Don't fist bump me Don't hand jive me
Don't slap rump me Don't high five me
Let's just shake hands like Americans
And hug when you're sposed to

Like when your 10 year old boy scores a touchdown
And maybe when your best friend says "I do"
Oh yeah times like that are fine but it's time to draw the line
Guys let's stop hugging when a handshake will do
Guys let's stop hugging when a handshake will do
I said Holster that hug hoss
A handshake will do

Or I just might hafta take yer "Man-Card"
And that's all there is to it.